Like, it's probably more noticeable that you don't have any romantic or sexual relationships than it would be if you don't have any true, close, platonic connections. Romantic and sexual relationships have things that are very obvious and for the most part, exclusive to them, such as kissing, making out, sex, etc. Platonic relationships that are true and close are not as visible, they're more feelings on the inside (not to say that there's none of those feelings involved with romantic and sexual relationships). If you look exclusively at the activities done with a platonic friendship, it's not very different from an acquaintanceship, or an activity partner.
I've met people who claim they have friends, but they're just coworkers they talk to a bit, guys they play games with, or guys they see at the sports bar a lot. Not people who actually support each other or any true connection. Now granted, there's nothing wrong with having those acquaintanceships or activity partners, and it can be argued that they're necessary for a fulfilling life, but they're not the same as a true connection or friendship. If you've never had that or hadn't had it in a while, it can be hard to tell what that feels like.
The only way to make these connections is through social skills, which a lot of people lack. They lack social skills, so they don't make connections, platonic or romantic. Since romantic and sexual connections have more exclusive activities, it's more easy to notice them than the lack of true friends. So I'm wondering if all this talk about the lack of romance and sex is really just poor social skills.
which ones are exceptional and which ones are poor? I've never seen social skills divided up into different parts
what happened that was frightening?
I'm in a similar position. Don't know how attractive women would consider me, I'm averagely masculine (at least physically). Pretty fit, can get along well with people but extremely shy. Never had any success dating, but would love hookups if I could get them. Is there really a lot of women online looking for hookups? The women on apps are so not my people / it's obvious they would never pick me because of my lack of money / no car, no place of my own, etc. Wonder if attitudes are any different in Canada than in USA.
In the US there are and I'm sure you could link up. Mostly on Tinder, there's a few apps like Feeld that are more specialized. Hookups are kind of shitty though because you may be having sex with someone who doesn't trust you, a male stranger, and will do things like fake an orgasm rather than risk you getting mad if they say "this isn't working for me let's try something else". Because you're dangerous. Feels terrible. I don't think I've ever had sex on the first date be a positive experience.
IMO sweet spot is a FWB. Sure there are women who also despair of finding an actual partner on an app but think consistent / safe / maybe fulfilling sex is an achievable goal.
I think some (most?) of these women don't select "short term fun" because they don't want to be inundated by harassment messages. And also because slut shaming is still a thing I guess. They'll have some risqué photos and be looking for "friends", or they're only here for the weekend, etc. Slept with some people who seemed much cooler than me. If you want to get laid it is EXTREMELY important to have good photos.
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