Like, it's probably more noticeable that you don't have any romantic or sexual relationships than it would be if you don't have any true, close, platonic connections. Romantic and sexual relationships have things that are very obvious and for the most part, exclusive to them, such as kissing, making out, sex, etc. Platonic relationships that are true and close are not as visible, they're more feelings on the inside (not to say that there's none of those feelings involved with romantic and sexual relationships). If you look exclusively at the activities done with a platonic friendship, it's not very different from an acquaintanceship, or an activity partner.

I've met people who claim they have friends, but they're just coworkers they talk to a bit, guys they play games with, or guys they see at the sports bar a lot. Not people who actually support each other or any true connection. Now granted, there's nothing wrong with having those acquaintanceships or activity partners, and it can be argued that they're necessary for a fulfilling life, but they're not the same as a true connection or friendship. If you've never had that or hadn't had it in a while, it can be hard to tell what that feels like.

The only way to make these connections is through social skills, which a lot of people lack. They lack social skills, so they don't make connections, platonic or romantic. Since romantic and sexual connections have more exclusive activities, it's more easy to notice them than the lack of true friends. So I'm wondering if all this talk about the lack of romance and sex is really just poor social skills.

  • bigboopballs [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    I guess the question is if you truly believe that it will never change, do you want to live the rest of your life feeling this way?

    No, obviously not. I want this to change. I'm just in too deep of a hole to see how I could realistically stand a chance of changing it.

    • FourteenEyes [he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      I know exactly how you feel and this is the shit I'm talking about. If you don't even believe in the possibility of improvement then you won't try.

      You have to take the first step of believing that it can be better, and try. Or don't fucking believe, and just try anyway. What's it going to hurt? You'll be alone but trying something different now. Exercise even if you don't think it will make you feel better. Eat better even if you feel like trash either way. I don't know, follow a hobby. Get a new job. Just do something different. Even if despair is completely fucking swallowing you, moving forward is the only thing you can do. And maybe someday, it will get better. Just hold on to that, believe in that little tiny thing -- that it can get better -- and you might find something to build on.

      Sitting there emotionally abusing yourself by saying it's hopeless doesn't help.