I finally understand social cues and why they think autistics don't feel empathy
youtu.be
The creator I'm talking about can be found here: https://www.tiktok.com/@csmijango In this video, I will share a huge click that I had around social cues, em...

I watched the video linked above yesterday morning, and it really blew my mind. I'm still processing it and would love to discuss it with you all.

It's 08m04s, no music, sound effects, startles, or sponsor shit, just a late-diagnosed woman discussing a revelation she had about communication differences.

She explains it better than I will, but to give you the overview, she thinks that allistics prioritize the parts of the communication process this way:

  1. feelings
  2. social context
  3. information exchange

and autistics instead do

  1. information exchange
  2. social context
  3. feelings

The way she explains it (and the examples she gives) makes so much sense to me. Idk yet how to incorporate that new understanding into my attempts to communicate with allistics, but wow, yeah, this extremely simple difference blew my mind and seems obvious in retrospect.

  • the_itsb [she/her, comrade/them]
    ·
    6 months ago

    And everyone who explains it has a moment where they're like "but actually it makes sense because it makes them feel less secure in their position and stupid so they just have to double down to save face." like no wtf? If I felt less secure in my position, and stupid for having it, I'd change it. Because it's wrong, I know that, and I feel bad for having it.

    100%

    it's always been baffling to me, but if they really value how they feel over what they know, it does finally make sense

    It doesn't make it seem less foolish to me, tbqh, but I guess I at least understand the why finally