Over the past several months, I have seriously thought about the fact that I may be a transgender woman. I have told some people close to me. Some of them I know through left-wing causes/DSA and others are close. I have not told anybody in my family, even though I think they would support me.
Of course, as you likely know, there has been a renewed movement against queer people from the right over the past year or so, not that things were great from them before hand.
I admit, I have worn women's clothing in private and liked it very much. However, I also admit that I have yet to do it publicly. I just feel like I'm waiting for the right opportunity.
ngl being baby trans with all the hypervisibility that comes with it is sometimes scary af in times like these, and i don't even live in the US. It took me waaaaay over a year of questioning and experimenting until i made my first steps in public, and that's only because a very sweet friend of mine who's also trans invited me to come over and visit her in a big city with a huge queer community and show my true self in public for the first time. She knew i needed that before i did, so she put that offer out. It was a lot easier to make these big leaps with somebody by my side, and in a place where i wouldn't run into anybody i know. And once i had done that, i knew i couldn't go back into the closet. I had to live my life the way i wanted to, i gave less and less of a fuck about what people would think, presented more and more androgynous and ... well, i ended up living as a woman full time before i even got on HRT (not by choice, but bc medical gatekeeping in my country is a fuck). And to do it like that, to go full "man in a dress" mode, that's harsh, that's not for everybody. I see a lot of trans people out there, trans women in particular, who publicly stay in boymode until they've gotten a year or so of HRT and have gotten their 5 o'clock shadow lasered and everything else they need to pass, and i'm not judging that. Putting yourself out there is always a bit of a dare.
I'm just saying, even if this scares to everloving shit out of you, you may come to like it. There's a certain power in being a walking gender catastrophy. You broadcast to everybody that you give absolutely zero fucks about what people think and that you can radically accept yourself, with all these supposed flaws and inadequacies of the flesh, and that's something most people nowadays utterly fail at. That's what queer people mean when we say we're out and proud, that joy of being unashamed and true to yourself and stomping on all conventions in size 11 heels.