I’ve read about how it’s typically difficult for adults with autism to remain employed, and I can completely see why. Never been officially diagnosed, but I’m pretty sure it’s a foregone conclusion in the way that I constantly over analyze every action taken by my co-workers and supervisors
So yeah there’s definitely some ND thought here, but I also can’t seem to get past how fake everything feels. And it feels like I have to play along with their little game where they all assume different personalities between the hours of 9-5 instead of being themselves. Because contrary to popular belief, individuals aren’t beneficial to capitalism, drones are
I hate my brain
You should read the classic feminist essay 'The Tyranny of Structureless' by Joreen. She describes so clearly and usefully this type of petty-bourgeoisie cliqueishness in radical (liberal) organizations!
I feel like this paragraph is ill-omened.
It's definitely an important warning, but I don't see it as a death knell. We just need to be deliberate and honest about how our groups are structured. Also people in privileged positions should be willing to have their subconcious behaviors checked and explicitly organized against. If they don't, they should question why they are drawn to organizing and 'the Left'. Are you/they/we in it to Serve the People or just for our own personal excitement? The two can coexist but if one cannot honestly say the primary motivation is not to Serve the People, they should question why and whether they belong in leftist organizations.
Being in a well-structured organization is also hugely liberating! Being able to trust your comrades to do what they have promised and truly free yourself from the individualistic 'I have to do it myself if it will be done at all' mentality is profound. Bigger and more impactful things become possible. You can move beyond having a five person collective where each person brings some leftovers to a sharing table when they remember to. You can take seriously the task of revolution.
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Load Marx quote about coughing due to coal pollution and human nature. Hopium is, as Bhagavan Shree Matt Christman says, the people who will exist provided that society has changed somewhat for the better in the future, would be fundamentally different to us such that their concept of "structure" or "hierarchy" would be vastly different to what we in the 21st century think or would be superseded by other ideas.