Nancy Pelosi was found dead earlier today with her face in a Dominoes Deep Dish Pizza from what Psychic Experts have described as a "Brain Drain" attack by hostile ESPer terrorists.
Top Anti-ESPer Terrorist forces have been deployed to investigate the attack and bring the terrorist cell to justice.
"These ESPer Terrorists - We're not sure if they're Brain Shock or American Psychics for Liberation - are extremely dangerous. If you see anyone performing suspicious telepathy please call our hotline at 866-774-9898." said Captain Ronald Harold, leader of the Anti-ESPer Terrorist forces.
ESPer related crimes have increased 20% since 2022, but this is the first major Psychic Event involving a Political Leader.
Authorities have a lead, a young woman named Terra Branford, who goes by "Tina" in Japan.
The EFI System Partition? Yeah honestly the whole concept is pretty fucked up, I could see it leading to brain damage.
Sounds like a conspiracy to cover up that she really got hit by the Havana Syndrome microwaves and the commies in the government just don't want people to know.
