Everyone is really nice to me when I have my kid(s) alone. The guy at the corner store where I get my beer almost always gives a free candy bar, middle-aged women touch my arm and say "good job, dad".
My wife seemingly gets none of this, and if anything maybe some subtle judgement. Is this a universal experience?
Dads actually being around for their kids is pretty new in society.
The middle aged Women are congratulating you becuase they wish they had a husband that helped out. I'm near 40. My dad was not a part of my childhood till my teens when he decided he didn't like the direction i was going and inserted him self into my life.
Your wife gets none of it cuz it's expected that the women takes care of the kids.
It's this - it's also, in my experience a bit of pity or something. Like, "oh look at that dad out with his kids alone, he probably needs help because dad's don't know how to take care of their children". To me this is where the arm touching comes from.
Yeah, this seems like a likely answer. The bar is, in my experience, below sea level for dads and parenting.