As an AuDHD person, the college dropout story is relatable to me, except for the YouTube career success. I grew up in a madhouse during my traumatic childhood, and going to college free from my backwards, overprotective, overly strict parents was essentially like falling off a cliff. I was already burnt out during my last year of high school, and I was too excited with the freedom and ended up wasting time playing video games and skipping classes regularly because I had little energy to function as an adult. I still struggle with burnout to this day due to being an overworked IT contractor for years.

  • ReadFanon [any, any]M
    ·
    6 months ago

    I read that comment when you posted it!

    Oh cool, I'm glad that it got to some of the right people.

    I have no idea if stimulants will work well for me. I've definitely used caffeine to self medicate most of my adult life so maybe?

    The take from one of the foremost global experts in ADHD is that stimulant meds cover about 80% of ADHDers - methylphenidate/ritalin works well for about 40% with amphetamine-based stimulants (Adderal, Vyvanse etc.) working for about another 40%, so there's a good chance that they'll work for you. Honestly I suspect those numbers are a bit low because there's probably another 5 or 10% at least who find that stimulant meds do work but that they can't continue using them because of certain side effects (e.g. weight loss, insomnia etc.)

    If we throw in stimulants that aren't the classical ones, like modafinil, I think that number would probably get bumped up a bit higher too.

    But either way I know it won't be a magic bullet, just one thing to try if a doc recommends it I guess.

    That's the right attitude to approach stimulants imo.

    I honestly don't know what not being able to mask would look like for me, but I work from home on a computer and have very accepting friends so hopefully the adjustment wouldn't be too rough?

    Cool, that's one less thing to worry about then.

    If you're in a customer-facing job or you're in social circumstances that require high masking it can be really difficult for some people because they often find themselves stuck between choosing to be functional and choosing to be a socially-palatable disaster.

    I think not being able to mask often presents as being less concerned or less focused on determining the emotional state of others and attempting to match it, along with stimming more, and being less inclined to put a lot of flair into the way you speak and use gestures and stuff like that. There's probably some other stuff that I can't think of at the moment which I'm overlooking too.

    I try not to downplay (or play up) my own struggles but all things considered I've lived a pretty chill life I feel like..Lots of self-repression and some serious struggles socially at times but you know, not outright horribly traumatic? So maybe that helps idk.

    That's good to hear. It's definitely going to make things easier for you if you do end up being prescribed stimulants.

    Though it's worth keeping in mind that often the self-repression and masking comes due to experiencing a lot of hard knocks socially. This is not to diagnose you or to pathologise what you've been through or anything but sometimes when it's the background noise you just get so accustomed to it being there that it becomes your normal. Stimulants often bring that stuff to a head; I am diagnosed with PTSD and I legit have this condition so this is me just hypothesising but if the stimulants bring that stuff to a head for me then I suspect that it would do the same thing, to a lesser degree, for people who are sub-clinical or who have had some tough battles but where they don't have symptoms of PTSD/they only have milder ones.

    All of this is speculation though. This is a massive blind spot in research and as far as I'm aware there's no efforts to really understand this from academia yet. We need more neurodivergent folks in research asap.

    Thanks for your prolific support and advice all over the site!

    Ah no worries. I'm just glad to help and to do my bit to contribute to the knowledge base on these topics because there's such a gap that exists currently.

    I just got new insurance so I'll have to see what it will cost to see someone this summer. I hate to say it but I want to see if I can get the ball rolling on this diagnosis stuff without telling them I'm trans... (is that a horrible idea?) Let's just say I don't want to be on that list given the way the US is going lately... My gender is none of their business and even barring government action, telling your doctor you're trans unfortunately seems like an excellent way to get subpar medical care. Or maybe I'm needlessly paranoid but I'd rather be paranoid and wrong than the target of fascist repression or plain ol discrimination.

    Honestly it's one of those things where being cautious is something that I'd recommend, if someone were to ask me.

    A lot of things stick with your medical records and, although I'm somewhere in the non-binary spectrum (meaning that I'm not cis so therefore that means I'm trans) I've never really hashed this one out with myself because I have had more urgent priorities so I am happy to sit this stuff out since I'm barely even an expert in my own experience. That means this next bit is just me making an educated guess here but I suspect that if you're trans in the sense of being opposite to your assigned gender and you're open about it with medical professionals then you're probably going to receive less quality of care and you run the risk of having anything you present with as being considered a "trans issue". Idk if I'm making sense here but for people with chronic mental illness they very often report that medical professionals just get locked in on the mental health stuff to the exclusion of everything else, so it's hard to get physical issues considered and often it just gets lumped in as being caused by mental illness or brushed off as a side effect of medication. I have no knowledge about this for trans people but I have a suspicion that, in a similar way, a lot of doctors would be quick to blame ADHD symptoms on a person being trans or on hormone therapy side effects and stuff like that. Hopefully a trans person who is knowledgeable about this stuff might chime in with their experience to let us know what it's been like for them.

    Then, as you've mentioned, there's the overarching concerns about politics and long-term safety to consider as well.

    So my general advice would be to try and go for an ADHD diagnosis first, if you're able to prioritise it, and go from there. Honestly an autism diagnosis probably only provides you with about the same study and workplace accomodations as an ADHD diagnosis would, and given the cost of an autism assessment it might not be worth the price of admission.