Cause I don't think that there is anywhere in the world where I belong, or where anybody would actually like me no matter what I do, or how much I try to do right by other people.

I don't wanna go outside, or do anything anymore.

  • BarnieusCalgar [he/him]
    ·
    1 year ago

    i barely managed to pull myself outside today. today i slept much longer than usual but it was heavenly tbh. got transported to another realm (the dream world) for a few hours instead of grinding at work, which was nice. when i did finally pull myself out and saw the sun and some people it gave me a little bit more energy. nothing phenomenal but dialing in diet, minimal social exposure, sleep and exercise does help with depression and beyond that there are some free group therapy and addiction-like recovery groups you can do, sometimes therapists will give hardship discounts, so you can do therapy relatively cheap for a few months and if you have insurance you can pursue better options as well but yeah, keep on keepin on, life is hard and we are all fighting in various ways just to make it through the day. i hope you feel better

    I don't usually have dreams, actually, I've found. I don't know why this is, but it doesn't seem to have anything to do with how deeply I'm sleeping. I just don't dream very much; or none that I can remember.

    I actually try to be really particular about diet & sleep; I cook almost all my own food, and I try & eat stuff that is actually nutritious & in what I think are reasonable proportions. Stuff like oats, eggs, milk, beef stew with lots of vegtables in it, chicken w/ brocolli & rice, as well as hand fruits with some of my meals/as snacks during the day.

    I also try to keep up with exercise as much as I feel like I can. I used to do a 3-day a week full-body weightlifting split, with an emphasis on a lot of volume; but for the next 3-6 months I'm gonna be working on a 5/3/1 program because I want to focus on putting more weight on the bar right now.

    I try hard to present myself as best as I can as well, keeping up with regular hygene of course, but also trying to stay clean shaven, with a decent & well-groomed haircut, and I even wear cologne.

    But like none of these things really do anything to help me communicate with other people, or I don't feel like I have any meaningful communication with anybody over the course of any given day.

    • pinkcub [he/him]
      ·
      1 year ago

      nice, you really got the diet, exercise and general appearance/hygiene stuff dialed in. Im currently having to redo my workouts because i got a shoulder injury from weights but hey I recently started being able to do pullups and have been getting a bunch of enjoyment off that, as it was a long term goal i finally achieved. sleep is a rough one, i also rarely dream. today I did. i usually sleep between 5-6 hours a day but I do also catch up whenever I can and that's usually when i dream. i did a whopping 13.5 hours of sleep today, so maybe that was it lol. maybe its a little maladaptive to do that but I felt I really needed it and I don't do it super often.

      connecting to people can be rough. i get my own kind of burnouts too but I haven't gotten any diagnosis and based on the online tests i take i think i am on the lower end of the spectrum for autism and adhd, so our experiences may not be comparble, tbh, especially if you are further on that spectrum. i have found a few close comrades that I can sometimes connect to but its hard and have been having difficulties getting real intimacy needs met due to avoidant attachment style, having been in bad relationships with friends in the past, which has made me even more avoidant, and being really picky as to who i want to associate with in general.

      dunno, maybe talking to other nd folks that share your special interests can be fun. I definitely enjoy talking to people about communism and nerd shit like linux, for example, that gives me a kick, even if we don't connect super deeper than that.

      even NT people say relationships are hard and you kind of have to try over and over again until you click with someone, so i think even "normal" people got a bunch difficulties with it and have a hard time finding their groove.

      i mean my work colleagues seem to be better adjusted and have partners and significant others and stuff but then lot of my comrades don't and are also battling with finding the right people they can connect with, so dunno. some of my coworkers are also very ND and look like they are still struggling even after getting some of those intimacy and connection needs met, but yeah, maybe im not the best person for advice on that lol. some of the more experienced relationship folks on here may have better tips on how to find your groove but yeah, those are some of the things that have been working to an extent with me.