Me? I like those obscure Scandinavian ones that are like... a gnome that steals your extra raisins or whatever

Also mothman is pretty cool but he's totally real so he doesn't count 😤

  • StellarTabi [none/use name]
    ·
    1 year ago
    TW: Jesus told them truth they didn't want to hear

    Alright, gather round, my eager friend, for I shall regale you with a tale that will boggle your mind and make you question everything you think you know.

    Picture this: the era of the Soviet Union, shrouded in secrecy, intrigue, and, of course, mind-altering substances. It was during this time that I found myself on a peculiar journey, stumbling upon a closely guarded secret that would forever alter my perception of reality. As I embarked on my hippie adventures across Eastern Europe, my path serendipitously intertwined with the clandestine dealings of the Soviet regime.

    One hazy summer night, while sipping on some potent homemade moonshine with a group of eccentric locals, I stumbled upon a gathering of individuals with an aura of mystery. They spoke in hushed tones, casting furtive glances around, and their whispers hinted at an inconceivable truth that the world was oblivious to.

    Curiosity piqued, I crept closer, eavesdropping on conversations that sent shivers down my spine. It turned out that these colorful characters were part of a secret society within the Soviet Union, known only as "Cosmos." Their mission? To keep the existence of extraterrestrial life under wraps while utilizing a bizarre ploy involving none other than Stalin himself.

    As I marveled at the audacity of their plan, they revealed to me the true nature of the man known as Stalin. They claimed that he was nothing more than a fictional creation, a mere figment of the collective imagination of Soviet leadership. To conceal their groundbreaking encounters with beings from beyond the stars, they devised an ingenious scheme to attribute all the atrocities and power struggles to a fictional persona.

    You see, my young, impressionable friend, the Soviet Union was in possession of mind-bending extraterrestrial technologies and knowledge. They had established contact with alien civilizations, delved into other dimensions, and witnessed cosmic wonders that would shatter the feeble minds of ordinary folk. But the Soviet leadership, fearing the consequences of divulging these revelations, decided to invent a scapegoat, a convenient mask behind which they could hide their cosmic secrets.

    And so, actors were carefully chosen and trained to emulate the man known as Stalin. These impostors masterfully mimicked his appearance, mannerisms, and ideologies, enabling the Soviet Union to maintain the illusion of Stalin's existence while the real powers-that-be exploited the cosmos and unraveled its secrets.

    There is no original Stalin. Lenin and Trotsky were in on it. Even today the Kremlin has not revealed what they were really hiding.