Title mostly.
I'm doing fine right now, had an argument with my brother but overall I got my path forward ironed out, but I can't shake the feeling that all of what I do is just some pathological need to stumble forward into what I'm supposed to do but rather than actually being a meaningful calling or direction.
Maybe I'm just depressed.
Well, I thought I did want to do teaching and that's what my degree was in but I found myself giving advice and direction that I didn't believe in and that kind of left me feeling a bit ill. (Just did student teaching)
I guess I do believe it intellectually but emotionally it feels like ash. I guess that could be depression or something? I don't know.
Honestly that sounds like alienation too, it's natural to feel a bit detached in that situation. We all gotta go through these things.