With your hard-earned dollars, hire a ragtag group of cutthroats and mercenaries
Break into nuclear waste repository
Steal spicy rocks
Place spicy rock on a pedestal in new town square
Place inconspicuous sheet of lead between your podium and the spicy rock
Make a grand speech to a crowd about how you have "mastered the divine energies of the Earth", and, with a dramatic flourish ("Behold!"), gesture for the crowd to touch the spicy rock
Marvel as the crowd gasps at the pleasant and unexpected heat of the spicy rock
Sell your wisdom to the excited and awed crowd in the form of your snake oil 2.0 exclusive guide "Gathering the Godly Greatness of Gaia" for $200 a pop
snake oil 2.0exclusive guide "Gathering the Godly Greatness of Gaia" for $200 a pop