ARCHAEOLOGISTS from the University of Central Florida have made quite the discovery this week as leader of the excavation Dr. William 'Bill' Brackers, lead archeologist for the dig, claims to have found what he believes to be “the skull of Yakub.”

Yakub was first mentioned in a Nation of Islam text The Making of the Devil, a full chapter on Yakub describes him as an alchemist who existed in 4000 B.C. The text alleges that Yakub was the sole creator of the white race and used a method known as grafting to create the first subjects of the white race.

Dr. Brackers, who has been an archaeologist for fifty years, and a professor at UCF for 12 of them, was quite ecstatic with this discovery. “I am beyond speechless,” Bill exclaimed, “I've been talking about Yakub to anyone who would listen but KKKracKKKer forces kept intervening. I've been sent to state hospitals for laying down the foundations of research that will be vindicated very soon.”

Although this is a great discovery for some archaeologists, many locals aren’t as pleased with the discovery. White Castle had to be closed for a week and then reopened its doors but the drive through remains closed for the time being. People have been protesting outside the restaurant, demanding the drive-thru be opened. Many of the protesters threw excrement while singing the Star Spangled Banner and chanting “Nobody made me, I was American made.”

Despite resistance, Brackers has compiled a team of professors, students, and two foreign archaeologists to uncover the mystery behind the bulbous skull claimed to be home to the most powerful brain of its generation. “One of our students unearthed the skull and at first site we couldn’t believe what we were seeing. That was until we unearthed the skull entirely and discovered it to have been of human origin. The sheer size and mass alone would surely pose doubts to whether this belonged to a human, the skull does weigh over sixty pounds which is roughly five times that of a regular human skull. None of our calipers were large enough, we had to order a custom set just for this occasion.” We will keep you updated as further information is available.