The libs plan a March to the Capitol Building. Trump says "If you march in Washington against me and you try to get to My Beautiful Capitol Building - my soldiers will kill you." This - of course - makes the libs very mad. Ted B. Earnest - a March to the Capitol Building organizer - appears on MSNBC and speaks for all libs when he says "How can that guy say 'my building' and 'my soldiers'! It's America's building and the soldiers are America's soldiers!" #thatguy starts to trend on Twitter until - without explanation - it's suddenly gone never to return.
Trump calls Elon "My guy Elon". Trump is now on Twitter again because he says "I can do whatever I want. I think it and it's an official act. Nobody can sue me. Nobody can stop me. Nobody can do anything." Despite this warning and proclamation a lawsuit is started to force him not to tweet and to only post on Truth Social. In less than a day - everybody involved in the suit is missing. Trump says "I Gitmo'ed them. Maybe they're dead. Or maybe they wish they were dead." The lawsuit is quietly dropped.
A reporter says to Trump "Will you use the military to stop the March?" Trump says "Yeah. Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines - all my guys. And they're loyal. Or they better be." Three days before the March there's a massive deployment of 10,000s of troops in DC including APCs, tanks, etc. Trump says "Nobody knows the word bivouac. Nobody likes camping but it's soldier's camping. My soldiers to stop the march are right out there in tents. There's gonna be jets with colored smoke too. And people think really big trucks and tanks damage roads but that's wrong. It's patriot scars. Patriots are good - right?" Trump again says "If you march - my soldiers will kill you."
The day of the March the estimated 100,000s of thousands of people have not materialized. Reporters estimate there are a few hundred people. They begin marching and they are singing the song That Guy composed for the event by Lin-Manuel Miranda. Miranda was supposed to be there but "due to prior commitments" he was unable to attend. A large contingent of pipes and drums in "1776 uniforms" was supposed to march too but no musicians were willing to come so the music is played over a PA system as the marchers sing the lyrics. They march about 500 feet before the troops start firing on them. Survivors of the barrage do not last long and are summarily executed on the spot.
An enterprising reporter has arranged to be near Trump as the massacre unfolds. Within minutes of it happening she has a chance to ask Trump questions. The reporter is proud of her foresight but she's afraid of getting Gitmo'ed so she meekly asks "What did you think of the March?"
"It was bad. Y-M-C-A is a good song" he does a few dance moves - "But that song was very, very bad. Sad." And Trump says to a minion - "Put the march on the screens when it starts but no sound. No sound until the shooting starts." The video starts and Trump starts smiling like a serial killer reliving the moment.
The libs plan a March to the Capitol Building. Trump says "If you march in Washington against me and you try to get to My Beautiful Capitol Building - my soldiers will kill you." This - of course - makes the libs very mad. Ted B. Earnest - a March to the Capitol Building organizer - appears on MSNBC and speaks for all libs when he says "How can that guy say 'my building' and 'my soldiers'! It's America's building and the soldiers are America's soldiers!" #thatguy starts to trend on Twitter until - without explanation - it's suddenly gone never to return.
Trump calls Elon "My guy Elon". Trump is now on Twitter again because he says "I can do whatever I want. I think it and it's an official act. Nobody can sue me. Nobody can stop me. Nobody can do anything." Despite this warning and proclamation a lawsuit is started to force him not to tweet and to only post on Truth Social. In less than a day - everybody involved in the suit is missing. Trump says "I Gitmo'ed them. Maybe they're dead. Or maybe they wish they were dead." The lawsuit is quietly dropped.
A reporter says to Trump "Will you use the military to stop the March?" Trump says "Yeah. Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines - all my guys. And they're loyal. Or they better be." Three days before the March there's a massive deployment of 10,000s of troops in DC including APCs, tanks, etc. Trump says "Nobody knows the word bivouac. Nobody likes camping but it's soldier's camping. My soldiers to stop the march are right out there in tents. There's gonna be jets with colored smoke too. And people think really big trucks and tanks damage roads but that's wrong. It's patriot scars. Patriots are good - right?" Trump again says "If you march - my soldiers will kill you."
The day of the March the estimated 100,000s of thousands of people have not materialized. Reporters estimate there are a few hundred people. They begin marching and they are singing the song That Guy composed for the event by Lin-Manuel Miranda. Miranda was supposed to be there but "due to prior commitments" he was unable to attend. A large contingent of pipes and drums in "1776 uniforms" was supposed to march too but no musicians were willing to come so the music is played over a PA system as the marchers sing the lyrics. They march about 500 feet before the troops start firing on them. Survivors of the barrage do not last long and are summarily executed on the spot.
An enterprising reporter has arranged to be near Trump as the massacre unfolds. Within minutes of it happening she has a chance to ask Trump questions. The reporter is proud of her foresight but she's afraid of getting Gitmo'ed so she meekly asks "What did you think of the March?"
"It was bad. Y-M-C-A is a good song" he does a few dance moves - "But that song was very, very bad. Sad." And Trump says to a minion - "Put the march on the screens when it starts but no sound. No sound until the shooting starts." The video starts and Trump starts smiling like a serial killer reliving the moment.