It feels like such a weight off of my back to have a real, solid report, from a medical professional, telling me that I have ADHD. I had a standard neurodivergent burnout experience, where I was good in primary school but in secondary school as a teenager, found that I was not achieving my potential. I always felt like I should have been doing better than I was. But it was so hard for me to bring my attention to things I didn't care about. Grades and attendance started slipping and I made sloppy mistakes.

Things only got worse once I moved out for college. Now I had no one to remind to empty bins and clean my room, to provide a consistent schedule like my parents had. I was procrastinating on assignments, even ones I wanted to do, until the last possible second - I remember turning in an assignment literally less than 10 seconds before the deadline. Sitting down and writing an essay was a Herculean task in my head, and instead of addressing it, I would avoid it. I would lie on my bed or go to the gym or talk with my friends, because it physically felt like I couldn't start a new task. And the more important they were, the less I wanted to do them. I told myself that I was just bad at being an adult, I lacked discipline and was facing the consequences of my laziness. But I was never able to change anything about it.

Now I know, for sure, why I'm like this, and how to change. I also know that I'm just lazy, my brain just kinda sucks and is not built for the kind of work that I have to do. I know that I can get treatment and that there are other people like me. Its such a relief.