As in, absolutely no "close" friend, because turns out one was an absolute cunt, the other one simply didn't seem to care at all. No family either because I've met with a man contaminated with coronavirus, and had to isolate myself to protect my parents. Nor any significant other because of various factors that I won't get into.
So that's it. 2020 is the first year where I literally have no one left to talk/confess to. As a gift, I am offered a fucking coronavirus test, and that'll probably be it. I can't even cry anymore, because I feel so numb. I wonder if anyone has truly delved so deep into misanthropy as I did., becaues as it turns out, finding decent people to talk to is an actual nightmare, and I just can't be arsed anymore to go back to Tinder/Okcupid, or to hang out with my classmates. So loneliness for the foreseeable future it is.
That's it, I posted this here because there's no mental health sub, god fucking knows why. Have a good night, because I sure as hell won't.
Ok I'm legit amazed at the amount of answers, thank you all, you beautiful liberals. I'll try to answer to all of you.
The night of my 24th birthday my relationship blew up in a Chinese restaurant and I ended up drinking an entire bottle of rice wine on a railing of a city bridge as I prepared myself to jump. I was interrupted by a stranger and driven home, before not leaving the flat in shame and sadness for over a week.
I'm glad I had more birthdays, all of them were better, some a little, some a lot, some still sucked, but I'm glad I had them. If you can't have a happy birthday enjoy the spite of it - damn right I made it another year despite it all - and keep going. There will be better ones.
Thinking of you comrade. :heart-sickle:
Thank you for the words comrade. I will persevere, because there's still a sliver of hope that things will change. Also you have a great user name, hope you'll see it half full one day.
Cheers mate, me too. :red-fist: