As in, absolutely no "close" friend, because turns out one was an absolute cunt, the other one simply didn't seem to care at all. No family either because I've met with a man contaminated with coronavirus, and had to isolate myself to protect my parents. Nor any significant other because of various factors that I won't get into.
So that's it. 2020 is the first year where I literally have no one left to talk/confess to. As a gift, I am offered a fucking coronavirus test, and that'll probably be it. I can't even cry anymore, because I feel so numb. I wonder if anyone has truly delved so deep into misanthropy as I did., becaues as it turns out, finding decent people to talk to is an actual nightmare, and I just can't be arsed anymore to go back to Tinder/Okcupid, or to hang out with my classmates. So loneliness for the foreseeable future it is.
That's it, I posted this here because there's no mental health sub, god fucking knows why. Have a good night, because I sure as hell won't.
Ok I'm legit amazed at the amount of answers, thank you all, you beautiful liberals. I'll try to answer to all of you.
Happy 24th comrade! Do not despair. You don’t need anyone to go for a walk outside! One of the simplest ways to change your head state is change your settings. Fuck tinder and OkCupid that shits only ever made me feel lonelier and I’d say that’s true for most other forms of social media. And if you can’t go outside for a walk Cook something nice for yourself! DM me if you want ideas for some kinda birthday treat, I’ll work it out with you. And I can assure you there are those submerged Much deeper in misanthropy because they are the ones who must Be stopped at all costs. What is more misanthropic than genuinely believing yourself worth billions of dollars! You have chosen to find value In yourself and others outside of wealth and this will always make you feel isolated in a capitalist paradigm. But do not give in to the despair! The world we all want to change and build anew is built on resignation to despair. Read a good book! DM me if you want a recommendation! Sometimes something that helps me escape the loneliness is reading something written before I was even born and finding ideas expressed that I resonate with so closely it feels as If they’re my own. But that’s just the truth that none of us are Truly alone In this struggle or ever will be exPressing itself through the mind of Some other human being at some other place in time struggling with the same capitalist alienation! Atleast you are brave enough to call the problem by its true name. Give yourself some credit for seeing things clearly. It totally sucks! But something i genuinely believe is that it will always takes more guts to be on the left because it is a whole lot scarier for all of us, there’s no easy solutions here. You’ve made it this far and you were bold enough to ask for some help. Give yourself some credit for that too. It’s really true that birthdays suck more as you get older and I’d say 24 is when that first started becoming evident to me too. And 2020 has been a dogshit year there’s no question about that. But stay with us Comrade because the struggle is worth it even if we never see things get better in our lifetime.
No matter how badly I sometimes wish for this to end, I'm not ready just yet. There are still some things that can be done to give myself some purpose, so wasting my life would not only be a tragedy for my family, my dog and my poor, poor cat, but also a waste.
I'll try to treat myself well today, and no matter the fact I can't go out just yet because I'm still waiting for the test's results, I sure have to thank you and the rest of the comrades here for your words.
Hey don’t worry about it. The end comes whether you rush it or not and you will find some purpose even if life’s bleak, you have plenty of comrades here to help. And your consideration for your fellow human beings is commendable but If you aren’t symptomatic and you can keep your distance from others while wearing a mask you aren’t gonna hurt anyone! Here’s hoping you get a negative result anyway though!