Our oldest is seeing a doctor in a couple of days about getting an ADHD diagnosis. Although some of it is normal teenager stuff, they tick all the boxes for hyperactive ADHD, they are impulsive, never thinks anything through, can't focus, makes a mess everywhere they go, can't wait their turn for anything, don't do chores unless you micromanage them constantly, can't ever stay still or quiet and thinks any type of school work or reading is boring. I love my kids and our oldest is a wonderful kid; funny, kind, talented, brave, but they take up so much space and energy, often to the detriment of their younger siblings, leading to lots of stupid conflicts.
We talked with our GP about getting them diagnosed last year but she advised against it, saying that then it would "go on their record". I feel we should have insisted back then and in retrospect it is hard to see how having a "record" of ADHD would be a bigger albatross around their neck than having untreated ADHD. Besides, if it somehow lowers their risk of becoming a cop or a troop, the only professions that seems to care about this, later in life then that's honestly fine with me.
I didn't get my own (inattentive) ADHD diagnosed until my 30's and I often wonder if early treatment and management could have saved me from a lot of the pain and heartbreak I experienced along the way because things that seemed easy to most people was hard or impossible for me to do. If I can spare my kid that I would be happy.
We're kind of worried about the school stuff as well. Our oldest has a really annoying "too cool for school" attitude and they get bored with everything there and we have a hard time getting her to understand that it is important to get an education if they don't want to work shit jobs for shit wages all their life. I suspect that this comes from the ADHD as that tends to intensify feelings of boredom and "this is boring" or "the teacher is stupid" are easier things for them to believe than admitting that focusing and paying attention is hard for them.
So my wife has inattentive ADHD and our kid def has the hyperactive flavor. Wife was also late diagnosed lol. I got the ASD and we suspect that our youngest is showing some signs but don't wanna jump to conclusions lol.
Our oldest is so damn smart too. He wasn't so much bored in pre-k as much as he needed to be told that he wasn't the teacher. But you just sort of gave me a glimpse into a potential future and if meds can help him then I'm gonna do it. Gonna monitor him of course and adjust or change as needed. I hope you can get your oldest diagnosed properly. Doctors seems to give any bullshit excuse they can to avoid diagnosing a neurodivergent person.
We talked with our GP about getting them diagnosed last year but she advised against it, saying that then it would "go on their record"
The fact that doctors like this still exist drives me up a wall. I know you know this but how could this be a negative is beyond me. The kid, with a diagnoses, is afforded accommodations under the law. That 504 plan carries with them to college, which is also required to accommodate under the law. Work, if you want to disclose this to them, are required to provide you reasonable accommodations under the ADA.
So, remember, your kid with a diagnoses is entitled to accomodations by the school. Medication is also going to go a long way to make your kid feel like they can actually do the work.
I suspect that this comes from the ADHD as that tends to intensify feelings of boredom and "this is boring" or "the teacher is stupid" are easier things for them to believe than admitting that focusing and paying attention is hard for them.
Its a multifold thing I think. I was regularly belittled by some teachers, claiming I didn't care about the work or that I was lazy. Regularly shamed in front of the class. At home the rhetoric was similar, about being lazy. However, sometimes it also felt like I already knew where a lesson was going, I was thinking faster then the teacher was presenting, leaving me feeling like nothing was moving fast enough.
Having their condition documented with the school should ease this, hopefully providing them with additional time, resources, etc.
Getting them assessed now is going to be huge for them.
Our oldest is seeing a doctor in a couple of days about getting an ADHD diagnosis. Although some of it is normal teenager stuff, they tick all the boxes for hyperactive ADHD, they are impulsive, never thinks anything through, can't focus, makes a mess everywhere they go, can't wait their turn for anything, don't do chores unless you micromanage them constantly, can't ever stay still or quiet and thinks any type of school work or reading is boring. I love my kids and our oldest is a wonderful kid; funny, kind, talented, brave, but they take up so much space and energy, often to the detriment of their younger siblings, leading to lots of stupid conflicts.
We talked with our GP about getting them diagnosed last year but she advised against it, saying that then it would "go on their record". I feel we should have insisted back then and in retrospect it is hard to see how having a "record" of ADHD would be a bigger albatross around their neck than having untreated ADHD. Besides, if it somehow lowers their risk of becoming a cop or a troop, the only professions that seems to care about this, later in life then that's honestly fine with me.
I didn't get my own (inattentive) ADHD diagnosed until my 30's and I often wonder if early treatment and management could have saved me from a lot of the pain and heartbreak I experienced along the way because things that seemed easy to most people was hard or impossible for me to do. If I can spare my kid that I would be happy.
We're kind of worried about the school stuff as well. Our oldest has a really annoying "too cool for school" attitude and they get bored with everything there and we have a hard time getting her to understand that it is important to get an education if they don't want to work shit jobs for shit wages all their life. I suspect that this comes from the ADHD as that tends to intensify feelings of boredom and "this is boring" or "the teacher is stupid" are easier things for them to believe than admitting that focusing and paying attention is hard for them.
So my wife has inattentive ADHD and our kid def has the hyperactive flavor. Wife was also late diagnosed lol. I got the ASD and we suspect that our youngest is showing some signs but don't wanna jump to conclusions lol.
Our oldest is so damn smart too. He wasn't so much bored in pre-k as much as he needed to be told that he wasn't the teacher. But you just sort of gave me a glimpse into a potential future and if meds can help him then I'm gonna do it. Gonna monitor him of course and adjust or change as needed. I hope you can get your oldest diagnosed properly. Doctors seems to give any bullshit excuse they can to avoid diagnosing a neurodivergent person.
The fact that doctors like this still exist drives me up a wall. I know you know this but how could this be a negative is beyond me. The kid, with a diagnoses, is afforded accommodations under the law. That 504 plan carries with them to college, which is also required to accommodate under the law. Work, if you want to disclose this to them, are required to provide you reasonable accommodations under the ADA.
So, remember, your kid with a diagnoses is entitled to accomodations by the school. Medication is also going to go a long way to make your kid feel like they can actually do the work.
Its a multifold thing I think. I was regularly belittled by some teachers, claiming I didn't care about the work or that I was lazy. Regularly shamed in front of the class. At home the rhetoric was similar, about being lazy. However, sometimes it also felt like I already knew where a lesson was going, I was thinking faster then the teacher was presenting, leaving me feeling like nothing was moving fast enough.
Having their condition documented with the school should ease this, hopefully providing them with additional time, resources, etc.
Getting them assessed now is going to be huge for them.