Smurf-ass motherfuckers. You’re not even real cops but you still wear that dumbass badge. Guess this is where all the academy dropouts ended up at. I see you taking your own backpacks straight past the checkpoints you fucking hypocrites. You couldn’t catch a bomb if it landed right on top of you you fucking fucks AAAAAAAAA!!!!! 
My butter knife could be used to take control of the plane? Holy fuck are you fucking listening to yourself? That’s literally my fucking job! Fuck you! And they give fucking butter knives to the business class passengers on the fucking plane, holy fucking shit!!! 
Don’t tell me I’ve been fucking randomed, I can see the green cleared icon reflected in your glasses you lying sack of shit, fuck you! 
Personally I love that it seems to be completely random whether you need to take off your shoes and take out your laptop to go through security now. I also love that there's never any posted signage about which it is and that the TSA goons will yell at you and treat you like an idiot if you guess wrong
It’s all completely pointless - in a way they admit this by letting certain crewmembers bypass screening so they can get where they need to go. And they love making it confusing so they can yell and scream at you. Literally anybody can become a TSA “officer” in like a month so it attracts the bullies from high school who couldn’t cut it at the cop academy.
It’s all about it the power fantasy of the smurfs.
Security theatre