Smurf-ass motherfuckers. You’re not even real cops but you still wear that dumbass badge. Guess this is where all the academy dropouts ended up at. I see you taking your own backpacks straight past the checkpoints you fucking hypocrites. You couldn’t catch a bomb if it landed right on top of you you fucking fucks AAAAAAAAA!!!!! 
My butter knife could be used to take control of the plane? Holy fuck are you fucking listening to yourself? That’s literally my fucking job! Fuck you! And they give fucking butter knives to the business class passengers on the fucking plane, holy fucking shit!!! 
Don’t tell me I’ve been fucking randomed, I can see the green cleared icon reflected in your glasses you lying sack of shit, fuck you! 
Got randomly screened once. Seemed normal until the next three people were also randomly selected. Two of those were attractive young women who now had to stand in a line with their arms out and get groped by a female TSA agent in the name of security. "Ah", I thought. "I was the smoke screen so it didn't look suspicious."
Can't prove it but that is definitely how it looked to me.