Not for a lack of trying, I assure you. It's just that no matter how hard I try, my mind won't accept it.

The thought of life and existence being ultimately meaningless (Something else my mind fights against, despite knowing it's true) is too much of a blow to my psyche to overcome and look at light-heartedly.

I'm just so desperate to have a purpose and meaning in my life, but at the same time I can't sincerely believe in any religion or afterlife. I try to "live in the moment" and "be happy and make others happy", but it just isn't enough. I need something more.

Edit: Thank you everyone for their responses so far, I do read them all. They give me something to ponder and think about, maybe even leading to a solution.

  • Owl [he/him]
    ·
    5 months ago

    I think you're supposed to try existentialism first, then jump to absurdism.

    Anyway try reading the Principia Discordia. I don't know if it hits as hard when you're not a fourteen year old atheist stuck in the religious south, but maybe.

    • GalaxyBrain [they/them]
      ·
      5 months ago

      DONT READ THE PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA. Discodianism is some ancap shit, I know I did it. You can skip that step,

      • Owl [he/him]
        ·
        5 months ago

        The heck about discordianism is ancap? I can offer plenty of complaints about it but I just don't see that one.

        • GalaxyBrain [they/them]
          ·
          5 months ago

          I'm conflating the whole thing with Robert Anton Wilson cause he did kinda become Rhe Guy for it, and have you read his stuff?

          • Owl [he/him]
            ·
            5 months ago

            Never heard of him.

            The Principia Discordia is enough discordianism for any (un)reasonable person, I didn't go looking for more.

              • Owl [he/him]
                ·
                5 months ago

                Why would I go out of my way to read something cringe?

            • GalaxyBrain [they/them]
              ·
              5 months ago

              I didn't, but everyone who followed it did. Discordians mostly read the Principia cause they read illiminatus and that the Joe Rogan experience of the 70s in novel form. Christians generally haven't been great at following Christ either. At this point it's wooks, crypto fascists, Jreg guys, people that take credit for Q Annon and stir that pot cause Operation Mindfuck. Weird idiots are really really into this stuff now