Not that anybody asked, but I think it's important to understand how shame and guilt actually work before you try to use it for good.

It's a necessary emotion. There are reasons we have it. It makes everything so. much. worse. when you use it wrong.

Shame and guilt are DE-motivators. They are meant to stop behavior, not promote it. You cannot, ever, in any meaningful way, guilt someone into doing good. You can only shame them into not doing bad.

Let's say you're a parent and your kid is having issues.

Swearing in class? Shame could work. You want them to stop it. Keep it in proportion, and it might help. (KEEP IT IN PROPORTION!!!)

Not doing their homework? NO! STOP! NO NOT DO THAT! EVER! EVER! EVER! You want them to start to do their homework. Shaming them will have to opposite effect! You have demotivated them! They will double down on NOT doing it. Not because they are being oppositional, but because that's what shame does!

You can't guilt people into building better habits, being more successful, or getting more involved. That requires encouragement. You need to motivate for that stuff!

If you want it in a simple phrase:

You can shame someone out of being a bad person, but you can't shame them into being a good person.

It was nice to see this put so clearly. This election cycle has left me exhausted and demotivated, and this hits it square on the head.

stolen from https://grungekitty-77.tumblr.com/post/754482938951892992/fun-fact-that-was-literally-what-inspired-me-to

  • KnilAdlez [none/use name]
    ·
    4 months ago

    This is something the too online left struggles with. We should keep a carrot and stick mentality to changing people's minds. Shame is the stick, and should be applied when people are being shitty. But we should always celebrate people doing the right thing, even if they were a shitty person before. Even if we know they will be a shitty person in the future; we should show that we are willing to accept and include people once they have shed their liberalism.

    Obviously if someone like Ben Shapiro says something like, 'Israel is commiting a genocide and should stop.' we know that he's not changed in any way it's just politically expedient for him to do so. We don't have to invite him to become a PSL member or say we'll watch his videos, but we should still say 'good on you for admitting it.' not because it will change his mind, but it will tear down some walls with his followers who see it.

    Carrot and stick, celebration and shame, when applied correctly can be a very good mind-changing tool.

    • Thordros [he/him, comrade/them]
      ·
      4 months ago

      Obviously if someone like Ben Shapiro says something like, 'Israel is commiting a genocide and should stop.' we know that he's not changed in any way it's just politically expedient for him to do so. We don't have to invite him to become a PSL member or say we'll watch his videos, but we should still say 'good on you for admitting it.' not because it will change his mind, but it will tear down some walls with his followers who see it.

      Hexbear: We Got an Emoji for That heartbreaking