If you have no preferred pronouns, just say (none) or something

This will help make people feel more comfortable in this comm and has a side effect of showing you support trans people when making comments in other communities. It will also make reactionaries seethe and make it easier for mods to purge them, and make trans people feel safer all over the fediverse.

  • Fiona@discuss.tchncs.de
    ·
    4 months ago

    So in other words, people who are still eggs, closeted trans people who have an identifiable account and similar groups now have to misgender themselves, which is a much more horrific thing than getting misgendered by someone else.

    Requiring people to state their pronouns is unironically a transphobic policy! Creating an environment in which not stating pronouns can be taken as not supporting trans people is likewise transphobic. The practical consequences of these decisions are extremely bad and I strongly request that you undo it!

    • Assian_Candor [comrade/them]
      ·
      4 months ago

      Lol

      Our instance mandated pronouns years ago. They also mass banned concern trolling posts like this one in the ensuing struggle session. We are better off for it.

    • marcie (she/her)@lemmy.ml
      hexagon
      M
      ·
      edit-2
      4 months ago

      If they have a practical concern with this they can say something like (use name) (unsure) (any) after their username. Just to verify, are you trans yourself? This is common practice in basically every trans space.

      Requiring people to state their pronouns is unironically a transphobic policy!

      No, it's not.

      closeted trans people who have an identifiable account and similar groups now have to misgender themselves, which is a much more horrific thing than getting misgendered by someone else.

      I would suggest they create a new account for exploring these feelings in trans spaces, then. Its more secure to do that anyways. He/him is the assumed choice in most internet spaces which misgenders a wide swathe of trans people, of course I would prefer it to be they/them, as its better if you don't know the person's pronouns. The reality though is we need to implement these things in steps so people can properly understand why its important to use they/them when you don't know someone's gender. I still get regularly misgendered with she/her in my name, these people that purposefully misgender must be removed from this space to make it safer, and by having more people with pronouns in username, it will make that job easier.

      • Fiona@discuss.tchncs.de
        ·
        4 months ago

        If they have a practical concern with this they can say something like (use name) (unsure) (any) after their username. Just to verify, are you trans yourself? This is common practice in basically every trans space.

        Yes, and that is WHY I’m so vocal about it, because I have experience with environments where the choice really was to misgender myself or to risk looking like a biggot. It sucked and that

        Requiring people to state their pronouns is unironically a transphobic policy!
        

        No, it’s not.

        It forces trans people who are early in their transition and eggs to pick between two really bad options. That makes it functionally (not intentionally) transphobic.

        closeted trans people who have an identifiable account and similar groups now have to misgender themselves, which is a much more horrific thing than getting misgendered by someone else.
        

        I would suggest they create a new account for exploring these feelings in trans spaces, then. Its more secure to do that anyways.

        A big point of something like Lemmy is that you don’t need separate accounts in all the communities that you are in and trans communities should put the bar low for people who are looking to explore things. It may not always be the safest thing to do, but reality is messy and people who are just kinda uncomfortable with what they have may still be far away from understanding.

        He/him is the assumed choice in most internet spaces which misgenders a wide swathe of trans people, of course I would prefer it to be they/them, as its better if you don’t know the person’s pronouns. The reality though is we need to implement these things in steps so people can properly understand why its important to use they/them when you don’t know someone’s gender. I still get regularly misgendered with she/her in my name, these people that purposefully misgender must be removed from this space to make it safer, and by having more people with pronouns in username, it will make that job easier.

        Nobody says you can’t have your pronouns in your username if you want them too, but forcing other people to do the same is really reaching into other people’s personal zone to an extend that I do consider inappropriate.

        • marcie (she/her)@lemmy.ml
          hexagon
          M
          ·
          edit-2
          4 months ago

          Yes, and that is WHY I’m so vocal about it, because I have experience with environments where the choice really was to misgender myself or to risk looking like a biggot. It sucked and that It forces trans people who are early in their transition and eggs to pick between two really bad options. That makes it functionally (not intentionally) transphobic.

          While I appreciate your experience, it is important for building a thriving trans community. The rule stays.

          A big point of something like Lemmy is that you don’t need separate accounts in all the communities that you are in and trans communities should put the bar low for people who are looking to explore things. It may not always be the safest thing to do, but reality is messy and people who are just kinda uncomfortable with what they have may still be far away from understanding.

          Creating a new account is safer, if your argument is you want things to be safer for trans people (re: not showing pronouns in ID), you must also understand that creating a new account is safer for exploration. Your argument is weak.

          If they feel nothing suits them they can say (none) or (use name)

          Nobody says you can’t have your pronouns in your username if you want them too, but forcing other people to do the same is really reaching into other people’s personal zone to an extend that I do consider inappropriate.

          I care about making a safe trans community, and making sure people aren't misgendered is part of that. This is how you do that. If you're not for making sure people are gendered properly, leave. 🤷‍♀️ But I suggest you consider it and keep an open mind about it, I genuinely think you have not seen the benefits of this policy.

          • Nakoichi [they/them]
            ·
            4 months ago

            Stay strong against the haters. Mandatory pronoun tags and removal of the downvote button are the two best things we ever did on logo

    • D61 [any]
      ·
      4 months ago

      "Any" is an option, "Use Name" is also an option.

      • Fiona@discuss.tchncs.de
        ·
        4 months ago

        Both of which identify you as not cis, thus they are not options in the very common case where that is an issue.

        • Hexagons [e/em/eir]
          ·
          4 months ago

          No, they don't. I personally know a cis person who has their pronouns on hexbear set as they/them or comrade/them. Those aren't the pronouns they use in real life.

          If someone assumes you're trans simply because your pronouns are set to something other than she/her or he/him, that's kind of on them. People are allowed to lie on the internet. Choose any pronouns you like, it doesn't matter.

          I personally assume absolutely nothing about the cisness or transness of someone with "any" or "none/use name" as their pronouns of choice.

        • D61 [any]
          ·
          4 months ago

          Both of which identify you as not cis

          No.

        • Zrc
          ·
          edit-2
          3 months ago

          deleted by creator

    • Yor [she/her]
      ·
      edit-2
      4 months ago

      🤡 take. if you don't want to share your pronouns, unsure or use name are both fine. it doesn't out you or misgender you. this is debate nonsense to try to discredit a policy that is definitively helpful for trans people

      • Diva (she/her)@lemmy.mlM
        ·
        4 months ago

        if you don’t want to share your pronouns, unsure or use name are both fine.

        Seconding this, putting something there really isn't a big ask, especially if you're engaging with people in a way you want to be constructive.