Bingus bongus I want your shlongus
(It still worked)
At a club, I just asked her "Wanna make out?" and we did. Very weird that worked.
"Did you know you can save 15% or more by switching to Geico?"
In high school, I dm'd a guy in my class "you're handsome bro"
His response was something like, "you too man I appreciate it!"
We both assumed each other were straight after that, but like a week before graduation, he randomly tells me he had a crush on me. And when I tell him I felt the same, he was like "damn I assumed that DM was probably only a compliment"
"Hey, you like Rob Zombie movies?" (We have been together for 7 years now.)
Me: Have you ever had your bellybutton kissed?
Her: Yes, of course I have.
Me: From the inside?
It didn’t work, but she laughed.
When I was an edgy and cynical generic college liberal, I once said "Hello. How would you like to join me for a predictable 'eat or drink something' ritual that implies politely that I am sexually attracted to you?"
It worked for a brief relationship, but still. Not exactly strong foundations were laid with that.
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