It's difficult to defeat the overwhelming feeling of "There is no future (Or at least not a good one), so what's the point?". I feel like even if I live to 100 we're not going to be anywhere close to a Star Trek utopia, but more smack dab in the middle of a Dark Age.
I urge you to read To Live. I think it would help you through these emotions
From the books desc.:
According to the wikipedia page of the author:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yu_Hua#Political_views
This makes the author seem like an anticommunist, would you say this is true?
No, the author is not an anticommunist. This book would not be so widely promoted in China if it were anticommunist. His depictions of the cultural revolution are focused on the suffering people went through in a neutral way. I don’t think it’s controversial in China to say that there were issues with the cultural revolution that led to suffering for some. Here’s an official narrative to summarize the cultural revolution on Chinese internet:
文化大革命全称“无产阶级文化大革命”,发生于1966年5月至1976年10月,是一场由领导者错误发动,被反革命集团利用,给党、国家和各族人民带来严重灾难的内乱,留下了极其惨痛的教训。[1][3][4]
I understand, thank you for the detailed explanation!