you're a peasant and the year is uh, fuckin 80 or something. jesus is dead but hasn't been for all too long. you also don't know what a jesus is.

scratch that, you're a goblin now.

what do you do?

current status:

level 1 goblin

hp: 4/4 (8 base, -2 from worms, -2 from tired)

stealth: 3

shenanigans: 1

status: is a goblin, below average amount of worms in intestines, tired (Just ran back and forth from dennis and the castle over and over)

atk: 4.25 (3.25 base, 2 from goblin sized dagger, -1 from tired)

inventory

Sturdy Looking Stick (.25 atk)

Goblin Sized Dagger (2 Atk, Equipped)

1 Ye Flask (Flask adorned with Kanye West) which contains brimstone, salt, and coal all crushed together. It's not a bomb.

10 ounces of saltpeter

notes

location: outside of castle

drew a weiner with poop on a castle wall. same spot you pissed on actually.

  • Acute_Engles [he/him, any]
    ·
    4 months ago

    I begin gathering all the various pieces of dung on the ground and putting them into my inventory

    • hexaglycogen [they/them, he/him]
      ·
      4 months ago

      unfortunately there's not that much dung in this area, as you are right outside of the castle walls and someone cleans up any poop that shows up.

      you do find a single rolled up ball from a dung beetle. the beetle is upset about this.

      you have obtained 1x small dung ball.

          • Acute_Engles [he/him, any]
            ·
            4 months ago

            I'll show this peasant who's in charge here. Wander the walls until you see someone remotely clean looking and hand them the dung ball at if it's a treasured heirloom

            • hexaglycogen [they/them, he/him]
              ·
              4 months ago

              you roll a 10.

              you manage to find one of the workers tending to the exterior of the castle and hand them the dung ball, telling them to treasure this.

              they ask you to leave the premises.