you're a peasant and the year is uh, fuckin 80 or something. jesus is dead but hasn't been for all too long. you also don't know what a jesus is.

scratch that, you're a goblin now.

what do you do?

current status:

level 1 goblin

hp: 4/4 (8 base, -2 from worms, -2 from tired)

stealth: 3

shenanigans: 1

status: is a goblin, below average amount of worms in intestines, tired (Just ran back and forth from dennis and the castle over and over)

atk: 4.25 (3.25 base, 2 from goblin sized dagger, -1 from tired)

inventory

Sturdy Looking Stick (.25 atk)

Goblin Sized Dagger (2 Atk, Equipped)

1 Ye Flask (Flask adorned with Kanye West) which contains brimstone, salt, and coal all crushed together. It's not a bomb.

10 ounces of saltpeter

notes

location: outside of castle

drew a weiner with poop on a castle wall. same spot you pissed on actually.

        • hexaglycogen [he/him, they/them]
          ·
          3 months ago

          you... fucking hell. you roll a 20.

          I'M NOT KIDDING. I WANTED TO KEEP THIS RELATIVELY GROUNDED. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO JUST MAKE GOBLIN NOISES AND GET KICKED OUT OF THE DENNIS.

          okay you're a goblin now. i know that technically there isn't a 5% chance of manifesting goblinhood but, fine, whatever, we're a goblin now.

          status: +is a goblin

          +2 atk, -2hp

          +3 stealth

          +1 shenanigans (schemes, chicanery, hijinx etc. become more effective)

          +goblin sized dagger (+2 atk)