As a man trying to get laid with women, I’m constantly having to play games and lean into patriarchal convention because that is really the only way to be half way successful.

The song and dance is mind numbingly stupid but you have to do it if you want to get your pp touched. Nuke cishet dating from orbit, I need a director’s cut, a rerelease. I’m convinced no one actually likes this.

  • AndJusticeForAll [none/use name]
    ·
    1 month ago

    In a thread a month ago, there was that one dude on here telling guys to "put in the work" to get girls instead of just understanding that it's basically random chance and isn't really an individual failure if you don't have a partner or have trouble with it. But that's "doomerism" which is worse to them than optimistic liberal individualism.

            • Iwishiwasntthisway [none/use name]
              ·
              30 days ago

              How is this incel shit and what OP is saying isn't? I'm genuinely confused. You have men* on here talking about women like they're resources, and talking about appealing to women like it's a unfair game. Like there isn't a sentient human on the other side of this equation with imperatives and desires. I'm really shocked and disappointed with this place.

              • AndJusticeForAll [none/use name]
                ·
                30 days ago

                I think you're shocked people want genuine interaction with each other and not act like spreadsheet animals with each other trying min-max for success rates like liberal-consumerist weirdos.

                • Iwishiwasntthisway [none/use name]
                  ·
                  30 days ago

                  I apologize if it came across that way. Perhaps it would help if I put it in more personal terms.

                  I am a conventionally attractive cishet NT women. The amount of opportunities I have to service men with whom I have no personal connection sexually, even nearing 40, are so vast I wouldn't even consider putting effort into pursuing such a thing even if I wanted it.

                  I don't pursue men sexually because I have no innate attraction toward men for them just existing. Even ones who are also conventionally attractive. What I do respond to, a multivariate arrangement of things, some of which you might assume are informed by the patriarchy, which I would disagree with. Also by the response to the man pursuing me in such a way that affirms my value, makes me feel "sexy" and thus allows me to even be receptive to the idea of sex.

                  In the absence of these factors, my sex drive would be confined to masturbating every 3 days when I have difficulty sleeping, and since I'm haven't blown out my dopamine receptors on ass to mouth fivesomes, I can do this in under a minute without thinking about anything. It's like taking a shit. It's not even a "sex drive" in the sense that I want sex. My sexual fantasies are derivative of a man desiring me. My desire for sex is separate from my the frustration of not having sexual release.

                  And I'm sure there's people on here that are going to call this "demi sexual" or some sort of weird "pillow princess kink" or whatever. But this, unfortunately, is a pretty typical manifestation of cishet female sexuality. This is evidenced in patterns in all manner of female dominated erotica, and it is apparent when observing female behavior broadly.

                  Because of this, women are not generally going to line up to perform sexual favors for men that have not illustrated both their desirably as a sexual partner, and their particular desire for the woman in question. Some might, but the number of women that are receptive to doing this at any point in time is far lower than the men that are interested in being serviced sexually, for free, without effort.

                  Saying that there are innate reasons these aggregate differences exist is not "incel shit" and saying you should consider meeting women where they are is not "pull yourself up by your bootstraps"

                  If OP had expressed alienation with modern dating apps and a longing to make a connection with somebody that would be one thing. But that is not the frustration OP is expressing.

                  • Abracadaniel [he/him]
                    ·
                    30 days ago

                    The amount of opportunities I have to service men with whom I have no personal connection sexually, even nearing 40, are so vast I wouldn't even consider putting effort into pursuing such a thing even if I wanted it.

                    this is such a key thing for guys to understand.

              • AndJusticeForAll [none/use name]
                ·
                30 days ago

                I don't really care about OP. I'm talking about your post specifically. OP has serious internet mod energy too.