inb4 "if it's legal it's not a crime"

  • lattrommi@lemmy.ml
    ·
    edit-2
    2 months ago

    Crime means breaking the law, correct?

    No location is named, so I will assume this refers the laws of physics and reality.

    I would:

    • expand time so that it lasts a near infinite duration, contained entirely within this day of no crime
    • transmute a bunch of the rocks in my apartment into gold
    • alter my DNA to include working wings like a bat, a prehensile tail like a monkey, gills like a salamander, enviromental adaptability like a chameleon that's selective so I can hide these enhancements from others
    • one more enhancement related to a very specific part of the anatomy of a horse or blue whale, or whatever it is people want these days
    • remove all genetic defects of my body, like susceptability to cancer and addictions, grant it full immunity to diseases, put it into a perfect equilibrium with near instantaneous regeneration and longevity and thus allowing my life to last as long as I desire
    • create a star from nothing and collapse it in a way that stores all of its energy into a pocket sized battery with perfect functionality and adaptability that is nearly indestructable
    • hold hands with two chicks at the same time

    It's fun to dream of the impossible.

  • PrettyFlyForAFatGuy@feddit.uk
    hexagon
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    edit-2
    2 months ago

    I know of an exploit on a horribly designed website for a national car park company that would allow me to write a script that would effectively give me and anyone else i know free parking for ever for all car parks administered by this company in the country (which is a lot of car parks).

    So i'd do that

    • Corngood@lemmy.ml
      ·
      2 months ago

      I love that you have a very specific and arguably moral crime in mind, and it inspired this post.

      • PrettyFlyForAFatGuy@feddit.uk
        hexagon
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        edit-2
        2 months ago

        tbh, i was inspired by a post with the same title while lurking on reddit. i have a rule about not posting there though so i bought the conversation here

  • Jourei@lemm.ee
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    edit-2
    2 months ago

    Man, I gotta brew something up in case a Crime Day comes up.

    I'd like to do some proper money laundering but I'd need dirty money first. Idk, if skill wasn't an issue, I'd hack the bank and erase my debt? No, make the bank owe ME.

  • IHave69XiBucks@lemmygrad.ml
    ·
    2 months ago

    I would steal a single nuclear icbm and take it to a pizza hut and just leave it there. Just seems like it would cause some interesting conversations.