Sure! Here’s a fictional Cumtown-style podcast episode script. It's written in the irreverent, offbeat, and often chaotic tone the show is known for. Cumtown is a comedy podcast with three co-hosts (Nick Mullen, Stavros Halkias, and Adam Friedland), so their voices and comedic timing will guide the flow.
Episode Title: The Butt Plug Industrial Complex
(Intro music fades out)
Nick: What’s up, everybody? It’s your boy, the Sultan of Suck, Nick Mullen, here with my two lovely co-hosts, Stavros “The Greek Freak” Halkias and Adam “I Swear I’m Funny, Guys” Friedland.
Stavros: What’s up, sluts? Hope you're ready to get stupid.
Adam: I hate that you guys always give me these awful nicknames.
Nick: Yeah, well, that’s 'cause you’re awful, Adam.
Stavros: You got your new glasses today, though, right? Lookin' like a Whole Foods librarian over here.
Adam: No, man, these are—these are hip! They’re like… ironic.
Nick: Yeah, ironically ugly.
Stavros: (laughs) How much did those cost? Bet you dropped half your paycheck so you can still not get laid.
Adam: You’re just mad because I actually try to look good.
Nick: Nah, Stav’s mad because he spent his entire paycheck on Uber Eats again. This guy’s single-handedly keeping the delivery industry afloat.
Stavros: (laughing) Bro, I’m supporting small businesses, okay? I got that entrepreneurial spirit.
Adam: If we ever have a Cumtown stock exchange, it’ll just be Stav betting on himself to eat four pizzas in one sitting.
Nick: (laughing) The Stav Dow Jones is crashing, bro. It’s just a graph of his cholesterol going up.
Stavros: (laughs) Oh, you motherfuckers. Let’s talk about something important though. You guys hear about this new trend with, uh, butt plugs?
Adam: (confused) What? No, what are you talking about?
Nick: (laughs) Here we go.
Stavros: No, for real! There’s this new, like, underground economy of designer butt plugs. They’re like high-end ones. Custom-made, with, like, precious gems and shit. You could buy one that costs more than your rent, Adam.
Adam: I don’t… What the fuck? Why?
Nick: (laughs) Because, Adam, some people out there are tired of living like plebes. They want luxury even when they're getting stuff rammed up their asses.
Stavros: Yeah, it’s like the Rolex of anal. High status. You walk into a room with a sapphire-encrusted butt plug, people know you’re about that life.
Adam: How would people know? You’re not showing that off.
Nick: Speak for yourself. I bet there are freaky dinner parties where that’s, like, the thing. Just a bunch of rich tech dudes standing around, comparing notes on their fancy butt plugs.
Stavros: It’s all about networking, baby! You think Elon Musk isn’t rolling up to a space conference with a custom-made Tesla butt plug?
Adam: (laughing) What? No! Why would Elon Musk be—
Nick: (cutting in) Oh, you know he is. Probably 3D printed that shit himself.
Stavros: With Dogecoin logos on it.
Nick: (laughs) Yeah, and it syncs up to your Neuralink so it vibrates when your stock portfolio hits a new high.
Stavros: (laughs) You get a little bzzt when SpaceX launches another rocket.
Adam: (sarcastically) Wow, incredible. This is the future of innovation.
Nick: It is, man. You know, that’s what all these Silicon Valley billionaires are really about. It’s all just butt plugs and biohacking. Butt Plug 2.0.
Stavros: Yo, honestly, we should get in on that. Cumtown-brand butt plugs. We’d make a killing.
Adam: (laughing) What, like, with our faces on them?
Nick: Absolutely. Yours would just be a big disappointment. You sell it as the “Friedland Experience”—you put it in and instantly feel sad and underwhelmed.
Stavros: (laughs) Nah, Adam’s would be the one you only buy as a joke gift for someone you hate.
Adam: I hate you guys.
Nick: (laughing) Stav’s would be huge, obviously. Comes with a guarantee: if you can take it, you get a free sub to his OnlyFans.
Stavros: (laughs) Dude, the Stavros Special. Comes with extra lube, and we throw in a free pizza delivery to your door afterward.
Adam: (laughing) Why is pizza part of this?
Stavros: It’s about the full experience, man. You stuff yourself in every way possible.
Nick: Meanwhile, mine would be sleek, elegant. Like the iPhone of butt plugs. You could charge it with a USB-C cable, maybe even get some crypto mining going while it's up there.
Stavros: (laughs) Bro, you're using your butt plug to mine Bitcoin?! That’s next level.
Adam: This is the worst investment idea I’ve ever heard.
Nick: That’s why you're not rich, Adam. You’re not thinking forward enough. You’re stuck in a world of cheap Amazon Prime butt plugs. Stav and I, we’re innovating.
Stavros: We’re disruptors, bro. We’re building an empire here. The Butt Plug Industrial Complex.
Nick: (laughs) We could even take it public. Cumtown stock would skyrocket.
Adam: Right up the ass of America.
Stavros: (laughs) We’re the new American dream, baby.
(Outro music starts playing)
Nick: Alright, folks, that’s it for today’s episode. Make sure to subscribe to Cumtown Premium if you want the good stuff. Stav will send you a pizza, Adam will send you a sad selfie, and I’ll send you a stock tip. See you next time, losers.
Stavros: Later, dorks.
Adam: Bye, I guess.
(Outro fades out)
Let me know if you'd like any more specific jokes or scenes added!
I can't even tell if that's worse than the real thing. Maybe there's a niche for burning down forests and draining lakes and scorching the sky to make imitation podcaster shit.
ChatGPT, write and episode of the podcast Cumtown
Sure! Here’s a fictional Cumtown-style podcast episode script. It's written in the irreverent, offbeat, and often chaotic tone the show is known for. Cumtown is a comedy podcast with three co-hosts (Nick Mullen, Stavros Halkias, and Adam Friedland), so their voices and comedic timing will guide the flow.
Episode Title: The Butt Plug Industrial Complex
(Intro music fades out)
Nick: What’s up, everybody? It’s your boy, the Sultan of Suck, Nick Mullen, here with my two lovely co-hosts, Stavros “The Greek Freak” Halkias and Adam “I Swear I’m Funny, Guys” Friedland.
Stavros: What’s up, sluts? Hope you're ready to get stupid.
Adam: I hate that you guys always give me these awful nicknames.
Nick: Yeah, well, that’s 'cause you’re awful, Adam.
Stavros: You got your new glasses today, though, right? Lookin' like a Whole Foods librarian over here.
Adam: No, man, these are—these are hip! They’re like… ironic.
Nick: Yeah, ironically ugly.
Stavros: (laughs) How much did those cost? Bet you dropped half your paycheck so you can still not get laid.
Adam: You’re just mad because I actually try to look good.
Nick: Nah, Stav’s mad because he spent his entire paycheck on Uber Eats again. This guy’s single-handedly keeping the delivery industry afloat.
Stavros: (laughing) Bro, I’m supporting small businesses, okay? I got that entrepreneurial spirit.
Adam: If we ever have a Cumtown stock exchange, it’ll just be Stav betting on himself to eat four pizzas in one sitting.
Nick: (laughing) The Stav Dow Jones is crashing, bro. It’s just a graph of his cholesterol going up.
Stavros: (laughs) Oh, you motherfuckers. Let’s talk about something important though. You guys hear about this new trend with, uh, butt plugs?
Adam: (confused) What? No, what are you talking about?
Nick: (laughs) Here we go.
Stavros: No, for real! There’s this new, like, underground economy of designer butt plugs. They’re like high-end ones. Custom-made, with, like, precious gems and shit. You could buy one that costs more than your rent, Adam.
Adam: I don’t… What the fuck? Why?
Nick: (laughs) Because, Adam, some people out there are tired of living like plebes. They want luxury even when they're getting stuff rammed up their asses.
Stavros: Yeah, it’s like the Rolex of anal. High status. You walk into a room with a sapphire-encrusted butt plug, people know you’re about that life.
Adam: How would people know? You’re not showing that off.
Nick: Speak for yourself. I bet there are freaky dinner parties where that’s, like, the thing. Just a bunch of rich tech dudes standing around, comparing notes on their fancy butt plugs.
Stavros: It’s all about networking, baby! You think Elon Musk isn’t rolling up to a space conference with a custom-made Tesla butt plug?
Adam: (laughing) What? No! Why would Elon Musk be—
Nick: (cutting in) Oh, you know he is. Probably 3D printed that shit himself.
Stavros: With Dogecoin logos on it.
Nick: (laughs) Yeah, and it syncs up to your Neuralink so it vibrates when your stock portfolio hits a new high.
Stavros: (laughs) You get a little bzzt when SpaceX launches another rocket.
Adam: (sarcastically) Wow, incredible. This is the future of innovation.
Nick: It is, man. You know, that’s what all these Silicon Valley billionaires are really about. It’s all just butt plugs and biohacking. Butt Plug 2.0.
Stavros: Yo, honestly, we should get in on that. Cumtown-brand butt plugs. We’d make a killing.
Adam: (laughing) What, like, with our faces on them?
Nick: Absolutely. Yours would just be a big disappointment. You sell it as the “Friedland Experience”—you put it in and instantly feel sad and underwhelmed.
Stavros: (laughs) Nah, Adam’s would be the one you only buy as a joke gift for someone you hate.
Adam: I hate you guys.
Nick: (laughing) Stav’s would be huge, obviously. Comes with a guarantee: if you can take it, you get a free sub to his OnlyFans.
Stavros: (laughs) Dude, the Stavros Special. Comes with extra lube, and we throw in a free pizza delivery to your door afterward.
Adam: (laughing) Why is pizza part of this?
Stavros: It’s about the full experience, man. You stuff yourself in every way possible.
Nick: Meanwhile, mine would be sleek, elegant. Like the iPhone of butt plugs. You could charge it with a USB-C cable, maybe even get some crypto mining going while it's up there.
Stavros: (laughs) Bro, you're using your butt plug to mine Bitcoin?! That’s next level.
Adam: This is the worst investment idea I’ve ever heard.
Nick: That’s why you're not rich, Adam. You’re not thinking forward enough. You’re stuck in a world of cheap Amazon Prime butt plugs. Stav and I, we’re innovating.
Stavros: We’re disruptors, bro. We’re building an empire here. The Butt Plug Industrial Complex.
Nick: (laughs) We could even take it public. Cumtown stock would skyrocket.
Adam: Right up the ass of America.
Stavros: (laughs) We’re the new American dream, baby.
(Outro music starts playing)
Nick: Alright, folks, that’s it for today’s episode. Make sure to subscribe to Cumtown Premium if you want the good stuff. Stav will send you a pizza, Adam will send you a sad selfie, and I’ll send you a stock tip. See you next time, losers.
Stavros: Later, dorks.
Adam: Bye, I guess.
(Outro fades out)
Let me know if you'd like any more specific jokes or scenes added!
Nick would never call Stav and Adam lovely tho
I can't even tell if that's worse than the real thing. Maybe there's a niche for burning down forests and draining lakes and scorching the sky to make imitation podcaster shit.
There was not a single mention of how small Adam's dick is in this. It's clearly a crude facsimile of the real thing.
Also:
Stav would NEVER send someone one of his pizzas!