I'm making a better effort to meditate, but I don't know if I'm doing it right. Focusing on my breathing and releasing thoughts is hard and if I relax too much, I fall asleep.
If you have related issues when meditating, have you found better ways to meditate or alternatives that give you similar results?
I can't meditate in the traditional manner, and for me the closest thing is world-building in my head. I basically write a book without the actual writing, and get lost in some imaginary place. It's the closest thing to meditation I've been able to achieve. Not sure if that's technically dissociating or not at this point so take that with a grain of salt.
I do worldbuilding too. I don't necessarily find the healing I've come to expect from meditation, but that could just be a me thing. I keep trying to do a chill beach or vacation episode but I crave magic and cool swords.
I feel that craving for magic and cool swords!! I've somehow given myself some really great healing moments with world building where the person I imagined wanting to be able to have a conversation with would say the things I needed to hear ...that sounds crazy and I'm incredibly vulnerable sharing this, but fuck it:
I once had an imagined conversation with a "therapist character" where I said all the things tormenting me (ex: I am an idiot, I am irredeemable, I am worthless) and the therapist character simply argued (ex: No, you're not any of those things, are worthy of love and understanding) and it really weirdly helped with my negative inner monologue. Meditation couldn't really give me that. Sorry for the rambling response, hope it's actually relevant to what you've asked.
I really like that. I mean I do the worldbuilding to pass the time or have wish fulfillment to cope with shitty days, but I never really had my characters talk to me about my feelings like that. I was always afraid that would be too cringe. I hate that the idea of being cringe in the privacy of one's own mind can get in the way of a potential avenue for healing.
Thanks for being vulnerable. It makes me feel okay experimenting with a coping strategy.
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On it
Thanks for not making me feel cringe for sharing
It is crazy how many negative 'voices' take up residence in our heads that we have no business carrying around. I hope you can find some inner peace comrade!!
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To me they ended up as the same thing. Give me a mandala coloring book and I will 'zone out' for countless hours without a thought. Maybe depending on your flavor of ND, meditation should actually require stimulation. It's an interesting thought!