Apparently it is not normal to constantly worry about failing to notice incremental shifts in one's moral principles such that one arrives at a repugnant perspective without realizing it
A heavily internalized OCD (I know there's "pure O" but there's discourse online about how that's a misleading term) seems to fit a lot of my behaviors. I have pretty frequent intrusive thoughts, heavily developed mental regimens I use to weather and regulate them, and then intrusive thoughts and doubts about having intrusive thoughts and doubts, which feels like it shouldn't be allowed.
Anybody else have stuff like this???
I don't think I have OCD, but I feel this constantly. I'm privileged and well off even by imperial core standards, and I'm wracked with guilt that I'm not getting off of my ass to organize and be a part of the solution and not the problem. This, in turn, debilitates me to the point that I struggle to do that stuff. This has been going in a feedback loop for the past several years.