Long story short he's back at me again because I asked him for $5 so I could grab smokes, even though I lied and said it was to buy a coffee (fuck him). Laid into me about how I suck and I'm a parasite.
Like I said in the title it puts my self-esteem in the dumps because I can't just move away and tell him to eat shit and die and never speak to him again. I'm beholden to this fucking monster that hates me.
And the funny part is I had a plan to quit smoking this weekend now I'm saying fuck it to that because what's the point?
I wish I saw this thread earlier, but Pete Walker wrote about assholes like your dad and how to survive them and ultimately decrease their parasitic influence on you in the present and in the future.
That's right. Your dad is the parasite between the two of you. He's emotionally draining you for his own benefit and fuck him for that.
https://www.amazon.com/Complex-PTSD-Surviving-RECOVERING-CHILDHOOD/dp/1492871842
The book and workbook are on annas-archive. Prolly libgen as well.