i just thought of that and was like wow china is so scary

    • happybadger [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      ChinaKnife: The Ultimate Weapon?

      Last night news broke on a Chinese disinformation space, Hexbear.net, that China is potentially developing a weapon of mass destruction. User "Happybadger" announced that the superweapon is capable of assassinating any person anywhere on Earth, utilising the core itself to shield itself from any warning systems. This weapon required well over a decade of covert research to design and will effectively hold the planet hostage down to the level of the individual world leader or dissident. The weapon is reported to consist of a gigantic knife of unknown composition, likely a titanium alloy if not a secret material, which pierces through the ground to stab the victim. This superweapon is believed to be at least 7,926mi (12,756km) long, built without disclosure to any other member of the UN. This distance ensures that it can pierce the full diameter of the planet. It is presumably longer so that the knife can kill its victim even if they are in a tall building such as the One World Trade Centre. This building was constructed in the aftermath of the collapse of the previous World Trade Centre buildings which were infamously destroyed in the 9/11 attacks. China has not responded to repeated email inquiries confirming or denying this story, even to mrpresident@china.gov which is reported to be the personal email account of Chinese leader Xi Jinping. Mr. Jinping would surely have full knowledge of the hyper-knife, or ChinaKnife as it's being called by at least one media outlet, and would have overseen its development. It is imperative that the US military consider a preemptive nuclear strike.