My org has like 8 events on the calendar for this upcoming week and I'll need to attend at least 2-3. The first one isn't until tomorrow but seeing those updates just drained me of energy and now all I want to do is lay down and tune out the world.
My org has like 8 events on the calendar for this upcoming week and I'll need to attend at least 2-3. The first one isn't until tomorrow but seeing those updates just drained me of energy and now all I want to do is lay down and tune out the world.
Yes.
The anticipation, and the undue dread from visualizing what would happen if I for some reason forgot or neglected those obligations, can be draining.
It especially sucks when it's things I can't do now even if I wanted to, where the waiting is part of the anticipation.
What really sucks is my org knows I'm autistic, they've been understanding of my difficulties in the past, but I can't just unlearn the lessons of a lifetime of being belittled and dismissed any time I tried to assert needs that neurotypical people decided didn't count.
Relatable.
I used to lead my tiny little old org but I took it so full-time seriously that I had no time or energy for anything else yet at the same time I was afraid it'd all fall apart without me if I so much as looked away for too long.
When I finally appointed someone to replace me and I couldn't get my old position back even if I wanted to, that was a massive relief.