Annoying manager: b-buh y-you always come here and never tip

Me (I never tip ever) after eating a meal at my regular spot: pulls out packet of marlboro reds from my dark grey suit : what do you mean

Manager: s-so sorry for disturbing you

Me: takes long drag and blows the smoke right into his face give me a tip for your miserable display of attempting to embarrass me in this public facility in front of your disgusting customers

Manager: fumbles around pockets desperately trying to find money, he throws down a twenty dollar bill on the table and then picks it up and uncrinkles it here y-you go

Me: there’s my tip you fucking worthless scumbag