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I know the word isn't just for white people, but "gringo" legitimately seems to deeply hurt the asses of white people. Also being called "yankee" although again not just for whites. I think I'm just proving that nothing can even offend specifically white people. The "worst" words just describe obnoxious Americans
maybe its regional but gringo isn't really offensive here in florida. just kind of means, "white person". i guess context matters but its not usually meant to be a slur outright on its own.
now if your mexican friend gets pissed and calls a white guy a "gabacho" then, yeah. he's putting venom on it
People who live near Spanish speakers and actually bother to ask about it won't be offended. But I'm talking about like random white people who do unironically think it's a slur. From my understanding talking with a Mexican coworker years ago, he told me it's basically neutral. It can be said in a good way, bad way, without meaning, but white people who don't know anything and have an inherent bias against Spanish speakers will interpret it as negative.