I have a fair amount of trauma binding me to the faith. May have been brought up in a cult-like community. But trying to separate from Christianity feels like tearing off the majority of my self. I believe in Jesus, but I believe he taught us to love each other like ourselves, so all the hate and division Christians sow, to me, seems counter to the Gospel they claim to believe in. Some of them would probably call me a heretic or straight up a nonbeliever. So whether I'm really a Christian may be up for debate.
As somebody living in a heavily Catholic European country, oh boy do I have tales for you.
I know it's not rational because I know not all Christians are like that but I can't help but side-eye anybody that's openly Christian.
I have a fair amount of trauma binding me to the faith. May have been brought up in a cult-like community. But trying to separate from Christianity feels like tearing off the majority of my self. I believe in Jesus, but I believe he taught us to love each other like ourselves, so all the hate and division Christians sow, to me, seems counter to the Gospel they claim to believe in. Some of them would probably call me a heretic or straight up a nonbeliever. So whether I'm really a Christian may be up for debate.
FWIW You sound like a more geniune Christian than like 99% of Christians I've met.