I can't deal with this. My partner of 5 years left , I have no job I have no family that gives a shit I have nothing I am done. I'm never goin to find love again because I'm a miserable unnatractive piece of shit and I can't even look I don't know how to date even if I did I'd just be burdening someone else with me it'd be so much better if I could just die but I'm such a fucking coward I can't do it I might pick up hard drugs to die slower I cant do this
What is time for myself, there's nothing I enjoy now. I've heard focus on yourself so much, clearly I am I'm focused on hatig myself and hurting myself and wasting away. That's unhealthy and toxic and I'm just embracing it now I'm goin to be a piece of shit that brings everyone down at least if I do it openly and loudly nobody will ever give me time and get disappointed that they can't help me it'll just be obvious