I can't deal with this. My partner of 5 years left , I have no job I have no family that gives a shit I have nothing I am done. I'm never goin to find love again because I'm a miserable unnatractive piece of shit and I can't even look I don't know how to date even if I did I'd just be burdening someone else with me it'd be so much better if I could just die but I'm such a fucking coward I can't do it I might pick up hard drugs to die slower I cant do this
It's proof I fooled someone into thinking I could be good and then after enough time they realized I'm just a burden that brings other around me down and it will always be that way.
Don't be your own enemy. You deserve to conceive of yourself as something better than a deceiver, and you're certainly not worthless. At minimum you should give yourself the same dignity you'd give any random stranger you see in public.
I used to believe exactly what you just said about myself. The more I believed it, the more it actualized, and the harder it made my relations with others. The less I believed it, the less it actualized, and the easier it made my relations with others. It was difficult shifting my perspective of myself, and I don't have advice on how to do it, but I would say to try to keep that in mind. Life's hard enough even without me putting my own self-worth down.