Thank you for the kind words. I always feel imposter syndrome and rarely feel like anyone except my partner ever says they value me so it's real hard to get up and get to work day after day.

My ex had something going on, I tried to respect them as much as possible and was always supportive to help them get jobs or even just the effort of applying for jobs. Possibly ADHD, anxiety issues as well, they switched meds a few times when were together. We also ended up having completely opposite sex drives which soured things pretty badly, they also were really against masturbation which was very stressful for me. Although possibly I just wasn't paying enough attention to their needs and desires, I feel like I could have tried harder but work and everything and well maybe I could have been better?

I know they spent days sitting in bed feeling bad about not helping out, but eventually it becomes hard to feel sorry when I'm completely burned out from work. I once heard that we all have batteries and eventually they drain and yea at a certain point I did find it very hard not to be bitter at them being at home so much and able to play games watch streams and movies and tv shows.

We split up when they were in a decent place, they had been working consistently for about a year by that point and they had initiated talks that they no longer cared for me and thought of me more as a roommate or friend. And then I tried to make it work, tried to get a better job (that was what caused me to try looking into teaching English before covid put that whole thing on the backburner for 2 years). I hope they're doing well. They had a good job the last time we spoke.

Hey thanks for reading through my post. Appreciated it.