As the election looms over the face of America, current president Biden may not be taking it so well. He was reluctant to give up his run in the current election but after he fumbled the debate with Trum, he made the decision to step down allowing his VP Kamala Harris to take the helm. So when members of his cabinet were asked about nuclear weapons, they were more than alarmed. “It’s a highly unusual request” said chief of staff Jeff Zients who reported the incident to the Pentagon.

“Biden is missing?” national security advisor Jacob Sullivan said to employees in the White House, “so he’s missing, then” he reiterates with nobody giving insight as to where he is or was seen last. After Zients spoke with Biden he supposedly “soiled” himself and asked to be dismissed to the bathroom, “it’s no surprise when he ‘goes’ as he always asks to be dismissed but also, the smell.” Did Biden soil himself as part of his plan to go ‘missing’? After national security advisor and chief of staff discussed the situation, Zients recalled how Biden may have been “jesting” but also perhaps not, how he wanted to “push the button” and wanted to see “fireworks” for his “dear friend Kamala.”

“He f****** said that?” Jacob Sullivan said whilst Zients nodded silently. Biden is still missing as of this time, the white house has scheduled a private meeting amongst staff excluding Kamala as she is currently campaigning in D.C.