I haven't felt anything besides low burning self contempt for years. Emotions like sadness and happiness elude me. I haven't sincerely shouted for joy or wept in years. I also have no desire to get close to other people and form relationships. This makes it nigh impossible for me to give a shit about even important things. While I don't feel much pain anymore, I also lack the spark that makes life worth living. I feel like a soulless automaton.
Does this sound like it's related to neurodivergence? I'm 100% depressed, but years of therapy and various different medications haven't done much, so I feel like there must be more to it.
Do you have other symptoms? Neurodivergences are neurodevelopmental disorders so the question is what were you like as a child?
I have been diagnosed with Autism and ADHD and do not feel any emotions or feel any connection with other people, so it’s possible. It looks like you’re dissociating, which could be caused by regular trauma or neurodivergent sensory/social/expectational trauma.
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy: