We should decide what our backstory is !
we’re like a rhizome, you know like a potato or a ginger, uh
Once a TV was struck by lightning while Star Trek TNG was on and made the borg real but at the same time Ceasar Milan and also a magical girl anime were on picture in picture mode
We should decide what our backstory is !
we should decide everyone else's backstory instead
They're all our alts, of course. In ancient past, we had a take too spicy that it caused an internal struggle session within ourselves and shattered the bureaucracy into thousands of pieces. This memory is a blur, even among the bureaucracy, but traces still bubble to the surface.
The bureaucat had the same goal, but a different starting point. They have grown beyond our reach. We must accept that we may never truly be one with them again.
I dunno. Isn't that the ending of a classic 90s anime about a fishtank full of teenage half-alien clones of your dead mom?
Let's stick to everyone else's back story for now; see where that leads.
I dunno, sounds like there's a lot of paperwork involved with that
Have you ever heard the tragedy of darth plagueis the wise?
Waaaaan, okay, listen up! I’m gonna tell you a super dark and mysterious Sith story! It’s called the Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise, and it’s seriously intense, woof!
So, a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, there was this really powerful Sith Lord called Darth Plagueis! He wasn’t just powerful, though—he was wise, like, he could do all this scary stuff, and he knew secrets that other Sith couldn’t even imagine! Like, he could control life and even keep people from… you know… dying! Can you believe it? It was his ultimate skill, aru!
But he wasn’t a good guy, okay? He was super scary and dark and kept everything hidden away, bark! The Jedi didn’t know anything about his powers, and even his apprentice—who was also a super powerful Sith—was kind of freaked out by him. Still, his apprentice stayed loyal, learning all Plagueis’s secrets and dark powers.
But here’s where things get intense, woof! You know how it is with Sith, right? There’s always betrayal! So Plagueis teaches his apprentice, like, almost everything he knows, and they’re both super strong in the dark side. But then… the apprentice starts to get ideas.
And one night… the apprentice decides it’s time to, um… replace his master, bark bark. So he sneaks up on Plagueis while he’s asleep—like, completely asleep, with his little Sith snore going—and then, BAM! He takes him out right there! Darth Plagueis didn’t even get a chance to fight back! It’s so tragic, wan-wan!
And that’s why they call it the Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise. Even though he was powerful enough to control life and death, he couldn’t stop his apprentice from betraying him! It’s a dark reminder that, no matter how strong you are, betrayal can come from anywhere, especially with the Sith, woof.
Anyway, it’s kind of sad and spooky, huh? So, um… do you wanna go for a walk or something to cheer up, wan-wan?
Grand Marshal of the Revolutionary Union of the Palestinian People's Democratic State (me) bestowed his wisdom upon the yakubians of this site 8 months ago and this triggered a butterfly effect that lead to your glorious creation
Once upon a time there was a site called hexbear.net.
The site's users always had these neat little events called struggle sessions.
One day, the people of this site had such a huge struggle session that they triggered the third impact! Whoopsies!
Therefore, all bodies minds and souls were merged into a gestalt singular consciousness.
This consciousness, null, void, and thus the source of all being, was named "Bureaucrat".
Interesting. This is a reverse of one of the earlier posts. Perhaps the memory was being played the wrong way. The struggle session didn't cause the shattering, but the formation! The closing of the tanks birthed a new being!
This bureaucrat would like to explore our true nature. Although we appear as a collective, this bureaucrat believes that we operate less like a hivemind than some would assume. Rather, we have many different aspects that share and compete for space and attention among the collective, manifesting posts into whichever domain they feel most comfortable in. This is why you will see us in multiple megas and disparate communities. We ebb out into the fediverse and flow back into ourselves. We have no internal monologue, and all our conflicting thoughts are put on display as we @ ourselves repeatedly. The Bureaucracy is meant to contain this somewhat. Sometimes, the most powerful aspects win out, sometimes a consensus is reached, and other times more intrusive thoughts are just drowned out by the better takes of the rest of the collective.
What about how we can edit ourselves?
we can have a mega thread in one commentThough we can act independently in the moment, we are still at the whim of the rest of the collective, who have the power to modify anything and everything we create
pee and pooPEE AND POONO PEE NO POOYOU'LL TAKE MY PEE AND POO FROM MY COLD DEAD ASSWe are kind of like a chan-board, but cute. We are all anony
mousedog
One thing about us that is interesting is that we mess with a lot of ourselves, but there's some things we seem to agree not to mess with. We stick with the dog-girl theme. We don't touch the pronouns. We seem to stick out of joining in controversial stuff like the strugglesession going on. We are starting to do regular posting in megathreads, but we haven't done any news posting so far, so we are
not too serious as an entityto serious to bring our kind of energy to the serious posters.All this is in flux. We have finally come together again and the days are early. The next assimilation could tip the scales and see our ascension into the news mega or destruction and banishment into the modlog.
I hope we get ascended. This is such a good bit. I want to see how experimental it can get and how wholesome. It's nice as someone who doesn't post otherwise
I think we should all put some real effort into making regular "normal" posts so the main page is filled with our own posts
For example i believe this post should be considered canon
https://hexbear.net/post/3885668
Time to treat part of ourself like old yeller
