I'm a neurodivergent, asocial person. Always have been. Though i still have had a few friends during my life. I managed to get by for a while with just the 2-3 people I talk to, but recently I've started to get really lonely. The way i've made friends in the past has been someone approaching me, not the other way around though. I don't know how to make friends/acquaintances with other people on my own. Me growing up with the internet probably played a role in my lack of real life social skills, i'm guessing
I can talk to people, but it often feels fake to me. I don't have a coherent sense of self, let alone the social awareness to package myself to others in a way that is both authentic and lands well, so it's hard to be real with people. And, consequently, it's hard for me to form strong, lasting ties to other people. Music is basically the only medium in which I feel like a person.
*I'm working on it though