i either speak too loudly or too quietly. i overenunciate everything, and have a vaguely General American accent when i speak English, so if i'm too loud then people conflate me with an amerikkkan tourist and sometimes get violent with me (i'm not a turtle ilander). neurotypicals from the southern and midwest US accuse me of 'pretending i'm better than' them; native speakers of other languages i speak similarly get defensive because i usually adopt a 'standard' 'prestige' dialect. bonus: i'm femme-passing, so being loud irritates cismen.
on top of it all, people tell me i'm pretentious because i use bIg wOrD and speak directly without any of the timewasting niceties and pleasantries of 'normal' speech, and — being a language nerd — i am very selective with my word choice, i use very narrow definitions of words (i hated the concept of 'synonyms' in school), and i like to use obscure/archaic terms where i think they fill an unfulfilled niche in my vocabulary… i sometimes sound like a tortured poet. i have trouble understanding spoken language, i lose my words a lot, and i get into stuttering fits. people (read: bullies) consider these great opportunities to mock the 'snobby' way that i speak. if i get started on a topic, i find it hard to notice when to shut the fuck up.
when i'm upset, my voice betrays my emotions. if i'm trying to deëscalate a situation or engage in nonviolent communication then i get accused of being manipulative.
all of this compounds to frustrate people's worldviews, since they find it hard to believe i didn't have a formal education and grew up in poverty, or that i struggle with mental health and neurological issues. so i also get accused of being a liar. and a manipulator. a lot.
these days i force almost everyone i talk to to only ever speak to me via IM or email (hOw maNipuLaTivE and DEMANDING), and i just avoid associating with neurotypicals as much as i can. no, it doesn't make social functioning easier, but i don't think it can be any easier.
i either speak too loudly or too quietly. i overenunciate everything, and have a vaguely General American accent when i speak English, so if i'm too loud then people conflate me with an amerikkkan tourist and sometimes get violent with me (i'm not a turtle ilander). neurotypicals from the southern and midwest US accuse me of 'pretending i'm better than' them; native speakers of other languages i speak similarly get defensive because i usually adopt a 'standard' 'prestige' dialect. bonus: i'm femme-passing, so being loud irritates cismen.
on top of it all, people tell me i'm pretentious because i use bIg wOrD and speak directly without any of the timewasting niceties and pleasantries of 'normal' speech, and — being a language nerd — i am very selective with my word choice, i use very narrow definitions of words (i hated the concept of 'synonyms' in school), and i like to use obscure/archaic terms where i think they fill an unfulfilled niche in my vocabulary… i sometimes sound like a tortured poet. i have trouble understanding spoken language, i lose my words a lot, and i get into stuttering fits. people (read: bullies) consider these great opportunities to mock the 'snobby' way that i speak. if i get started on a topic, i find it hard to notice when to shut the fuck up.
when i'm upset, my voice betrays my emotions. if i'm trying to deëscalate a situation or engage in nonviolent communication then i get accused of being manipulative.
all of this compounds to frustrate people's worldviews, since they find it hard to believe i didn't have a formal education and grew up in poverty, or that i struggle with mental health and neurological issues. so i also get accused of being a liar. and a manipulator. a lot.
these days i force almost everyone i talk to to only ever speak to me via IM or email (hOw maNipuLaTivE and DEMANDING), and i just avoid associating with neurotypicals as much as i can. no, it doesn't make social functioning easier, but i don't think it can be any easier.
*shruggie*