They should be served fresh off the grill with coals pressed into the patty, on a heated stone plate.
They should be garnished with shaved chillies and spicy oil, with pickled jalapeños and 'one chip challenge' corn chips between the buns.
And to top it all off, they should only be accompanied by a warm glass of salt water to wash it all down
i should want to fuck my burger. i should look at the menu with arousal and shame. they should let me eat my food in the bathroom stall. that's the least they can do if i'm paying 9 dollars for a fucking big mac