Salutations Everybody!
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Mask up, love one another, and stay alive for one more week.
will do, the book is called "no bad parts" by richard c shwartz if you're interested in checking it out. Really describes a lot of what I'd been attempting for a while on my own but way better.
my own stuff
Guess for a while I was trying my best to reconcile all my twisting and contra dictionary feelings/thoughts. Desire to be masc while hating I looked masc, the use of various pronouns of which ones felt good. There was also something deep in me longing for some sort of companionship that I wasn't getting so I started talking to myself and was surprised how easy a response I got back. It was something I kept private and slowly started confiding to people I trusted but the more I did it the easier it got. Part of me for the longest time has gone not thinking about things and repressing but I try to make time every night to get in the right head space and check in if that makes sense. I've gotten very confused when I'm interrupted when I'm in this state and it takes me a while to comeback but I've been trying my best to do this talk/check up outside of just night time.
The book has mentioned some interesting stuff like the blurring of boundaries that make a lot of sense or of different ways of thinking of the mind that I really subscribe to.