One of my friends is kind of traumatized from it. I’m fine, though I’m going to need a new blanket/sleeping bag because he was really cold and I let him cover up with my $80 sleeping bag, and, you see, one of the symptoms of precipitated opioid withdrawal is, you shit yourself. I’m not upset though. I’m going to make a fundraising post in /c/mutual_aid later to cover the cost of a new blanket or whatever, and if I raise enough money I’m going to kick him some.
I feel you. I don't think it's overly dramatic to compare the loss of relationships like that to dealing with death. The grief process is real and people are so important to each other's sanity and sense of acceptability. I dunno my thoughts are muddled on this but my point with the death thing is, it always hurts but the pangs get further and further apart and we get more practiced at dealing with it as time goes on.
I can see how it would appear stalkerish or creepy to people who haven't experienced it, there's obviously an overlap of obsessive thinking and whatnot. But fuck it, you are/were just being honest and vulnerable. I kind of regret not affirming the validity of your experience sooner. I've never been that open and vulnerable about my losses except with a couple of very close people.
Anyway you saved a life today. I hope it helps you see how valuable you are, just as you are.