Does this make sense at all? In my head, it’s the most clear. When written, I feel like I’m not able to fully express what I’m thinking. When speaking, it’s like fucking Russian roulette and can be wonderfully put together and eloquent or stroke-like.
Is there any way to improve this or is it just the way my damn brain works?
Ngl, I suspect that I might be a little AuDHD but diagnosis is expensive. There's also some overlap in symptoms and presentation between the two so we may just have this in common despite being different flavors of neurodivergent. With the categorization part, I think the anxiety thing is a bit reductive, or maybe backwards? Like, yeah I have anxiety for a lot of reasons. One of those reasons is that whenever I talk a mess of unintelligible nonsense comes out. My anxiety doesn't make me do that, it's the fact that I do that makes me anxious.
And just to speculate on the categorization part, I agree. I think part of it is just that the neurotypical mind is already impossibly complex and difficult to categorize. When you throw the added layer of atypical thought patterns and behavior in, the complexity is multiplied. I also think that qualified neurodivergent people haven't been leading the charge on the study of our minds is another issue. There are some aspects of our conditions that are nearly indescribable within ourselves, to people similar to us, and particularly to neurotypical people. If there were a greater neurodivergent presence within this area of study, I feel like they would be best equipped to determine where efforts should be focused